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I need to find a better way to cope with our break

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 July 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 July 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I recently decided to take a break and I'm not handling it too well. Before I begin, I just want to clarify that the break had nothing to do with a fight or change of feelings... it's something a little different than your typical break. To simply put it, we hit a point in our lives where we can't really have a relationship due to the things going on in our lives. Family and school mostly. And a small part of it also has to do with us being together for quite a while. We've been together on and off for about 2 years and a half. Plus we've known each other longer than that as best friends. They say teenage romance and first love are doomed to fail but it has always been something we wanted to prove wrong. I'm not going to get mushy but I know my boyfriend's feelings are genuine and that we can't see ourselves with anybody else, which is also one our problems that his mom pointed out. Even though we're both almost 18 we act as if without each other won't ever love again. Anyway he's my first and I don't want to lose him but I don't know how to take a break at all. I'm clouded with doubts and emotions because even though we told each other we love each other no matter what I'm still fearful that this break might just be permanent. This isn't healthy but I want to find a better way to cope with a break because I believe I'm more focused on us coming back to each other.

View related questions: a break, best friend

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (16 July 2012):

Hi there. Breakups are never easy and being your first romance, doesn't make it any easier.

All things in life happen for a reason.

You have both decided to have a break for a few reasons, and to live a bit more of life as well.

It's impossible to say at this point, that you won't get together again in another year or two's time.

There's no way to know that at all really.

There's no simple way to get over a breakup, except to just keep on living one day at a time, and allow life to happen and see what happens then.

There's nothing to say that you won't end up together eventually, and get married and live happily ever after.

You might - and you might not.

Who's to say?

No-one knows what lies ahead in our lives.

The only thing you can really do, is to try to find things to be happy and thankful for, every day.

Schoolwork will keep you both busy, no doubt.

And outside of going to school, there are things like sport, seeing your friends, going to the movies, etc.

The more you keep busy doing fun stuff and keeping yourself occupied, well then the less time you will have sitting around feeling miserable.

At the very least, it distracts you away from all those negative feelings, so thereby helping to keep your spirits up.

And it will give you other things to think about.

Going for long walks, can also be very helpful in getting rid of bored, sad feelings.

It really does help, and the important part is to walk regularly.

And especially walk, whenever you feel rather low, and it will help to remove that "can't be bothered" feeling that we all get, when something like a breakup has happened.

It will also help you to sleep well at night.

So then, you will have a lot more energy in the mornings.

And when you have more energy, you will also have a happier mood.

It's really worth considering.

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A female reader, IamJess United Kingdom +, writes (15 July 2012):

IamJess agony auntThe reason of a break is to do things you broke up because of, like whether its family issues or just spending more time with them, make them matter aswell and just hang with them showing them you are still there and not just focused completely on your relationship. Focus on school, and getting everything you need from it. Hang out with some of your friends, do fun things like going out and going to parties, and meeting new people, this break could actually be good for you, because you know your feelings for your boyfriend and his feelings for you, and if the break is based just on purposely doing things you needed to, then take the time out and do these things, if you two are meant to be together, you WILL find your way back to each other, and it'll be the best thing ever, but you've got to make time for other people aswell, instead of moping around wondering what to do, just go with your head instead of your heart this time and experience everything new.

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