A
female
age
36-40,
*slee
writes:Hello everyone... I'm looking for advice on how to stop an affair with a married guy. I am a single 24 year old female. He is 36 and married :( We've been having an affair since 2007, by the way, we work together! We both try really hard to stay away from each other but always fail. We keep falling for each other. I love being with him and he loves being with me also, but I feel like this is such a waste, it hurts to think that he is married and he will not leave his wife. But everytime I see him I fall for him, I get so weak and so does he and we end up spending time together - if you know what I mean. I need to put an end to this! Help!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2011): Just run and never look back. He doesn't love you if he did he wouldn't want to see you hurting. He loves his wife and kids. He's got issues and I bet your not the first women he has done this to. He will have you as long as you make yourself available to him. Start doing things you like start hanging out with your friends like you used too. I bet you stopped your life for him and lost yourself in the progress. Do you think for one min he's thinking about you or your feelings no way it's all about sex and him. Pretend like you don't care and ignore him he will get the hint and have no choice but too move on. And I am telling you that you will feel like a new you and you will be able to breath again. No one to answer to and you can live your life and be happy. You don't need a man to be happy.
A
female
reader, mslee +, writes (20 July 2011):
mslee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for the advice. This is making me realize how stupid I have been :( It's time to move on!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): from what you describe you and this married man are mere fck buddies. nothing more , nothing less."...We both try really hard to stay away from each other but always fail...." this is hogwash. you see him for the sex and that is that!my brother also has a mistress. BUT he has told me he will never leave his wife and kids for her. the job of a mistress is to lie flat on her back, legs wide open (if you know what I mean)if you really wanted to leave this man you will but if you are happy to always be second best well..........LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): If he is not going to leave his wife, there is just no future for you. Don't waste anymore of your life with someone to whom you will always be 2nd choice. If he really loved you, he would free himself to be with you, cling on to that thought. Change jobs, end all contact - it's the only way to try and free yourself so you can meet someone who is able to put you first. It will be very hard - but you are only heading for heartache with him so be strong, be the master of your own fate.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): I was in your shoes at exactly your age. I left my job to get away from the guy and changed my phone. Moving jobs left me resentful as I had enjoyed the work and my new job was not half as good. I changed my phone then text him the new number - pathetic and weak huh.. We carried on and on. He was still having sex with his wife of course but it made me sick but still it was like a drug.The thing that did it for me was that a guy who was completely single was really really keen on me and asked me out. Something inside me snapped and I said yes. I really enjoyed myself - no sneaking around, no hanging on for phone calls or drinks after work that never happened and I knew I wasn't sharing him. Amusingly the affair guy got really jealous and claimed I was cheating on him! but I was past caring then - I could finally see how stupid I was being and how pathetic married guy was (who, 10 years later is still with his wife by the way) and that having someone full time and dedicated was the best fun I've had. My advice is set yourself free - you will be amazed how good it feels. Don't waste your life any longer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): You need to end all contact with him. Change jobs, change your routine, change your phone number, take him off your facebook, everything. Remind yourself of all his faults. Go cold turkey. re-invent yourself. It will be very difficult for awhile and you'll be tempted to see him again but it's easier than continuing to maintain some level of contact. Treat this as any other break up.
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