A
female
age
22-25,
hannah85
writes:Hi there, Basically, i am a 21 year old female who has been single for just under two years. Although i dont think that this is a huge amount of time, the time has affected me quite severly i think. Firstly, i am not unattractive - although i have very low self confidence, i do know that people do find me attractive. This presents me with the question of, 'well, why am i single?'. I feel I have started to lack in inspiration; how to have good dates or, how to have exciting conversations, I feel being a singleton for over two years has severely affected my social and communication skills without even mentioning my self confidence. I am afraid to let people in, i don't feel i am good at havng conversation anymore and generally feel like i have deteriorated as a person. Please help x
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2007): Hey Hun, well being single for just under two years you probably become very self reliant,Which is good but I think your low self-confidence, may be due to you feeling quite negative about the whole relationship’s situation which we all feel to a certain extent because relationships are complicated things, (it is not a bad thing that you stayed single for a bit)But part and parcel of “gaining back power or inner strength” is learning to play the game (the game can be dropped in my opinion when the partner Loves you and not before and your settled with this person until that time keep all negative traits in the cubud with your other skeletons) unfortunately though when we meet someone we feel comfortable with every ounce of us wants to let our guard down but if we want things to work we must put fourth our U.S.P(unique selling point)Lol! Just like a product we must show are best personality assets in a non-arrogant way,We must be interesting, don’t babble too much, (If you do at first which you will because it all is in good practice) don’t worry about it too much just try and correct your behavior, Don’t be afraid of pauses Listen to them find out all about them massage there ego in a subtle way, Please don’t feel like you’ve deteriorated as a person that’s why you must find something that’s your own U.S.P this can be your career if you enjoy your JobYour college/university if your enjoying your degree,You’re good friendships, or any hobby that you enjoy and shine at. Let these things rebuild you as a person because then you will express more confidence, Good Luck ?
A
male
reader, shawn styles + ♥, writes (7 April 2007):
If you wish to attract the right type of man i.e one that will not use you for sex, money, status etc then you need to give yourself a self-evaluation. What do you have to offer in a relationship apart from being attractive? Get others to help you with this as well because sometimes we judge ourselves harshly.I would start by becoming a more interesting person so you have things to talk about that make you stand out on dates. This could include taking up a sport, a new hobby e.g. a dance class or doing a college course (if you are not in education).Also read newspapers and books/websites on your favourite subjects to keep up with what's going on in the world. And watch programs on television that aren't just the soaps or celeb/reality TV based, these give you a very narrow view of the world and what is important in life. As for when you are out, always hold your head up high and be proud of who you are. It wouldn't hurt to cut down on booze/drugs as this impairs our judgement/behaviour and can make you look like "An easy lay" and not girlfriend material.I'd like to just add that I respect you for asking for help and wanting to change. Let me know how it goes.Wishing you good luckShawn Styles x x x
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A
female
reader, ingotblue +, writes (7 April 2007):
 I have been single for a lot longer than that and dont feel impeeded in my conversation at all, thats because I use chat lines to talk to people, I talk on the net and although I dont use speed dating I would do if I had the cash.With the chat line its like msn but you send vocal messages to each other I do have the number if you would like to build up your conversational skills then get in contact with me.I will say that there are men on there purely for sex and there are men on there that do want a genuine chat, just like in a pub.With the chat line they havent a clue who you are, or how to get in touch unless you give them any details.it is safe and im here if you want to chat to me.
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