A
male
age
41-50,
*s1981
writes:I hope this doesn't sound like a stupid question, but I need help with how to talk to women (dating, relationships). I am a 28 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend and frankly, it's pathetic. I always freeze up when a woman talks to me or I'm very short with my answers and extremely nervous. Of course this makes me seem as if I am not interested in talking. I have even tried the major online dating sites and I haven't even had luck with those. I have had encounters with girls but those were bad experiences (they felt bad for me never having a girlfriend, so they slept with me.) and like an idiot I thought it was more than it really was. I even seek professional help from a therapist, but that doesn't seem to help and at this point I need any help I can get. This consumes my life and it's all I think about. I don't even like to go out in public or hangout with friends because it makes me depressed. Out of the whole group I am they only one not in a relationship. I know the part of the reason is because I had no other choice but to move back to my parents' house after I lost my job; it was either that or live on the street and I couldn't do that to my dog, she needs a better life than that. I have ask many people, read articles, watched online videos, and everything else imaginable to try to fix this problem and well, looks where it has gotten me, nowhere.
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (7 July 2009):
 hun you are so negative about yourself that's probably part of the reason you're not giving yourself enough credit and enough confidence to do something about it.
i am 20 had boyfriends but they were pants really nothing.
and i'm one of the only people in my group of friends whom doesn't have someone but that doesn't stop me talking to guys.
as Satindesire said we are just like you. i mean i never used to go up to guys and talk to them i was too shy but then i thought Hey! i won't get anywhere in life if i always scurry away and to me guys are just like girls we are but the same maybe not in form but person we are.
just think of a girl as friend you see someone you like walk up casually just say "Hey there! how you doing?"
casual conversation and progress it from there.
i understand you get nervous and stuff i've been there but sometimes you have to just try and over come it.
take the plunge just go for it.
pretend you are confident give off the impression you are then other people will think that you are and it'll boost you even more.
hold your head up high and think "i am great" other people will see that too and feel your confidence bloom!
Hope this helps pop me a message you need anything else
x ilovebowsandcherries x
A
female
reader, kelseyd +, writes (7 July 2009):
ok dude calm down ur trying way too hard so ur having a hard time go to clubs go to parties go up to a girl ask her out for drinks but what ever u do. just play it cool
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