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female
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anonymous
writes: My bf attempted to give me anal for the first time, but i ran into a few troubles. I know it's meant to hurt at first but we actually had to stop because it was so painful. I know this is really gross but I have what I assume is a skin tag in that area and either side of it is burning now as if the skin was broken. Also, I often find that my anus hurts anyway, usually after going to the toilet. So I have a couple of things i need to ask. Is there anything abnormal about any of the above and if so what is it and how can i sort it out. Also, and sorry this is kind of gross, but is there any way of making anal less painful (we were already using a hell of a lot of ky jelly) coz I really want to do this properly for my bf as he seems really into it.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (11 September 2006):
 The advisor section in this site is very good for this subject...
http://www.puckerup.com/
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2006): I've had anal sex and I'm not sure whether I have ever really "enjoyed" it, though for me the turn on is that it't taboo and a different.
Ref the skin tag, I also have a tag there and I think most women do, so it may just be normal, but it wouldn't hurt to get it checked if you think it's something abnormal - if it's a skin tag you could get it removed at your doctor's surgery quite easily I believe.
I'm with you though, it bloody hurts - the last time I wasn't sure if I was in ecstacy or about to pass out! lol.
I think the above poster is right, you just need to relax, use lots of lubricant and as a suggestion I find it helps if you are on top so you can control how deep he is inside you and can control the pace?
Remember, it's ok if you don't like it - not everyone does, I'm not sure I'd want it every week with a partner in the future, just now and again.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (10 September 2006):
 Firstly, if this is not something you're comfortable with, forget what he wants. If you don't want to do it and he loves you, he won't make you feel bad.
Anyway, if you do want to do this for all the right reasons then maybe you could go and see your doctor or a counsellor at a GUM clinic. They may take a look at your skin tag to check that's ok, and they may also get to the root of your painful anus.
As for having anal sex, once that's all sorted and providing everything is normal, you just have to relax. Some people never enjoy it, they say it's always painful. Personally, I don't like the feel of it, although it didn't hurt. The only thing to do is use loads of ky jelly, as you have done before and relax, that will relax the muscles in your bum and the penis will go in easier.
Maybe have a few beverages beforehand and lower your inhibitions! If you're not so worried or anxious about it, I'm sure you'll relax more!
Good luck and get things checked out before you do anything else, it's always better to put your mind at ease. Remember, if you don't like it, you don't have to do it, not many people I know have anal sex as a common part of their sex life.
Good luck
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