A
male
age
,
*h3techlead
writes:I have meet a women 3 years ago, I enjoy being with her, but we have not even kissed yet, she knows (atleast I think she does) I feel about her. Her past ex left her with really bad feelings, she's has told me very little, but he did sexual abuse her.How do I get her to even think about kissing me?
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female
reader, Holly D  +, writes (17 August 2008):
First I would ask, does she really have any idea how you feel about her? After three years and no action I would be pretty certain that what I had was a very good friend? I think before you even consider how to produce a kiss,you need an open and honest conversation about how you feel about each other. If it is too soon or sore or she honestly just sees you as a friend, that is when it can be discussed.
Bad relationships especially including sexual abuse are very difficult for the person involoved and the people around who care for them to deal with, but it is something that can be overcome and the best way is through talking. So the first port of call is to talk to the lady about how you feel and about whether a relationship is a possiblity. Once that is sorted, it will be much easier to tackle the kissing!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): This is a really difficult position, because I know that many older women who has suffered great lossess or trauma in love are often not keen on committing again, or having sex. They often opt for the next best thing: friendship.
It is possible that she just enjoys your company, and is not ready for anything more. However, you owe it to yourself to find out. Test the waters first. Ask her if she is over the bad things that has happened in the past, and if she will ever be able to date again, and if she will consider remarrying.
I hope it helps. You sound like an awfully sweet person, and you deserve to be treated like gold.
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