| A
female
age
41-50,
*íce
writes: I have a huge problem. I have dated my bf for 5 years, now during these five years he cheated on me on three occasions.The first time it was with a lady from my town, I caught them red handed at his house at 1am. We broke up, but after a couple of months he apologized, I forgave him and all went well. After another year he cheated on me with a younger lady from out of town this time, I found out, we broke up. He came back again after about 6 months, I forgave him. We rekindled again and all went well for for more than year, and we he was meant to marry in Aug of 2005. In April of 2005 I discoved he was cheating on me with my sister's best friend. I was mad, I told him off and we broke up until round about now. Now we talk and see each other a lot. But when I think about the whole incident with my sister's best friend I get scared.When i asked him about it, he said he did it for the sex, because I had taken chastity vows (vows that I will remain pure until I got married.)As of now he says still wants to get married to me so he's proposing, I love him so much but I 'm afraid he'll hurt me at the same I think to myself it will never be the same again. I don't think I can give myself to him completely because of these horrible things I keep thinking about.But I don't know what to do. Whilst we had broken up I tried dating other guys, but I found myself missing him so much. He is the only one who seemed to know how to make me happy.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2006): A female friend went through something similar. She wanted to stay virgin until after marriage. Her ex's all dumped her for that reason. They did everything else like bj's, hj's, fingering, etc, but no intercourse. This most likely drove the guy's nuts.
If you're forbidding him from trying to make love to you, then you're classifying your relationship with him purely based on intimacy without making physical, emotional, and mental pleasure. I know I might get attacked for this comment, but oh well.
It's not 'right' for him to be sleeping around, but there isn't a plausible reason for you to hold your chastity either. Unless of course, you're doing it out of religious ideals... Then again, divorce isn't an option in 'that' religion. 8]
If he's the 'only' one who can make you happy, and sex is an external thing, then go ahead and take him back. Why not? In ancient times, men had more than one sexual partner. The wives would be sisters.
**Please note for other aunts/uncles, I'm not speaking from a personal point of view, and more from an overall point of view.**
If you can't take it, and he won't change, then simply separate. He should convert to being a Mormon. 8]
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2006): Hmm. Seems like you've been extremely lucky catching him every time he cheats. In other words, don't you think there are other times that you just never found out? You seem to allow it because you're not sleeping with him. Bad idea to marry - he'll keep cheating. Sorry.
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A
male
reader, guylostinlove +, writes (16 December 2006):
Have you guys been doing everything BUT actual intercourse?
It may be easy to say .. but, you would think he'd forget about it (intercourse) after he had his orgasms ....
On the whole, you can't believe it was "just for the sex". Sounds like a repeat offender. Really, time for you to move on.
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