A
female
age
51-59,
*ightangel
writes:i have been married for 4 yrs now i love my husband but he doesnt touch or hug me or kiss me or sleep with me we have slept in seperate beds for over 1 yr i love him he is a wonderful guy i feel he gives me everything but what i really need or want is feeling loved and secured and wanted.i get very lonely we have seen the docters and he tells them he cant get it up but yet at night he sits in front of the computer enjoying his porno.he says its nothing something to watch and i dont say nothing because he has always done it .the docters suggested vigra and he says thats to high so pills are out of the quistions.i was turning toward another man but i dont want to cheat on him what should i do out of answers.
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female
reader, nightangel +, writes (3 November 2012):
nightangel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionty all for your suggestion they have been really helpful in my thinking so far
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2012): He really doesn't give you everything you need otherwise you wouldn't be posting here. Marriage is more than just economics. Is there a significant age difference?
An addiction to porn can create erection dysfunction and given that he chooses his computer for sex versus a willing wife says something significant about him. I get that Viagra is expensive but hugs and kisses are free as is sleeping in the same bed. You can also get free samples of Viagra, cialis and levitra from his doc so there is no excuse for not trying it.
Would he be receptive to you iniating sex on the couch? Being very graphic, if you come out naked start in on him even if it is all oral or manual, will he stop you?
You have to decide if you want to spend the rest of yor life in a sexless affectionate less relationship . If not, insist on counseling and insist that he get a medical checkup to make sure there isn't something going on.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, nightangel +, writes (3 November 2012):
nightangel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe only knew each other 3 months befor we got married but it was love for me but now that i look back it seems to be more of a companinship relationship to him i was the one who started sleeping on the couch watching tv and then one day he told me just stay there and sleep and from then on i did even when i slept in bed he stayed there watching prono .
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (3 November 2012):
 It sadly doesn't sound like a marriage to me. If you feel that you want to turn to another man, maybe you should leave your husband. It sounds as though he has already left you. If you've talked,and had professional advice, and still it isn't working - I'm not sure that you can do anything. Why did you start sleeping in separate beds? What was he like at the beginning of the relationship?
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