A
female
age
30-35,
*ary-lee
writes:I am 19 years old, and a month ago i got engaged to my boyfriend of two years. I do love him heaps, but i think i still like my ex boyfrind of 3 years. My family hate my ex, but love my current boyfriend. I dont think i want anything to happen with my ex, but i hate feeling like this. Me and my ex are still good friends and i see alot of him. I think about him alot. What should i do? Please help me!
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female
reader, mary-lee +, writes (20 July 2007):
mary-lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question igby, you are so right. he was my first love, and we both lost our virginity to each other. i guess something would be wrong if i wasn't still thinking bout him, right?
A
female
reader, igby +, writes (20 July 2007):
 I am guessing that the ex was a first real love?...if so, there will always be something there, just like the first time we expereince anything is stays with us. This doesn't have to mean that you want to be with him, or that you can't still see him, think about him, but you need to let go of him. Especially now that you are really commiting to the current guy, its brought to the surface the realness of having to say goodbye to that part of your life. Someone i find it helps to write down everything you feel about your ex, then do the same for your boyfriend...then rip up the ex's note, and put the boyfriends note somewhere special. But no matter what trust your intution.
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A
female
reader, mary-lee +, writes (19 July 2007):
mary-lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx heaps for helping me! I want to stay with my fiance, i know i can work things out. but the thing is my ex is my baseball coach, so it's a bit hard to steer clear of him, the harder thing is that my fiance and ex are good mates cos they play baseball together. i hope my feelings and thoughts fade soon!
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (19 July 2007):
It is normal to remember the relationships that we have had over the years,the good the bad and yes even the ugly. Relationships are the life experiences, that we all need to grow in our ongoing maturity. But it would seem that you are having somewhat a a memory hang-up at this time. So why not just keep those wonderful memories of your ex-bf in your mind, And move on with your life. By moving on, I mean the you will have to make up your mind now who will be first in your heart and mind,your Ex or the one that you will be saying,"I do". Your Ex had better become a distant Ex when and if you marry, or you will be keeping the door open for a possible adulterous affair. Marriage is a commitment on the part of two people. And if you cannot make an honest commitment, don't get married. Do hope that you get things straightened out in you mind and in your heart.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): By the sound of things you are going through a rough patch with your fiance and it hasn't helped that your ex is on the scene and you are mates with him. Stick with your fiance. Work at things if there is a problem in the relationship. The last thing you need is to have an affair with your ex. You've already been there before, what's to say it won't work out again? If it will help get your relationship back on track maybe back off a bit from the friendship you have with your ex. Wouldn't it be awful if you told your ex that you have feelings for him and you find out that not only is the feeling not mutual but he's gone and told your fiance what you said to him? You've admitted that you love your fiance so stay with him. Your feelings for your ex should fade away in time.
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