A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Three years ago my friend Ashley dated a boy named Luke. I found him to be quite annoying and often argued bitterly with him. They only dated a month, but she was devastated when he broke up with her and still doesn't like to be around him. A few months ago, Luke had a fling with another of my best friends, Meredith. Nothing much happened, but she liked him a lot and we often discussed her relationship with him and I gave her advice. Ashely and Meredith secretly hated each other because of their dispute over Luke. Somehow, somewhere in the mix, I started to develop feelings for Luke. I thought that I hated him, but somehow that turned into something completely opposite. I never wanted this to happen, but I can't stop thinking about him and talking to him and being with him. We are talking now and I think something really special could happen between us. My problem is that I don't want to lose my friendship with Ashley and Meredith, but I don't think I can resist Luke. How can I tell them? Is it a bad idea to sneak around with Luke behind my friends' backs? Help please!
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male
reader, Illithid +, writes (13 January 2011):
 You respect your friends, right? Then they likely have good reasons for it not to work with Luke. Chances are pretty good that it wouldn't go much better with you (and honestly, the things you found annoying will be annoying again soon enough). Guys come and go, but lifelong friends are precious!
As the saying among men goes, "bros before ho's" (For women I guess it would be "sisters before misters"?)
A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Very bad idea to sneak around your friends' back with an ex boyfriend that they both have had.
Is Luke a player? It sounds like he might be making the rounds through your group of friends and you're next on his list. Is this guy worth losing your friendship with these girls because that is what is going to happen, if you tell them and if you don't tell them. Eventually they will find out.
Just don't do it most teenage girls think its against the "girl code" to date or do anything with each other's exes.
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