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I love him but now he says he has a girlfriend?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 September 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 September 2011)
A female Canada age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I need opinions and advice, please. There's this guy, who honestly, I think I'm in love with and I think he (at least) likes me back. For a long time, every time we would see each other, we would just stare at each other, like long, intense stares. Eventually, I slowly started making small talk here and there with him, until one day when he full on started a conversation with me. This was last May. Ever since then we talk constantly, and have become very close. When we're together, the conversation just flows, and if it's silent, it's not awkward but peaceful. Everything is just better when he's around. However, we went a little while without seeing each other, and when we returned, things were a little different. He still stared at me, but I was nervous to strike up conversation with him again, and I think he was nervous to talk to me. Then, yesterday, everything was ruined (for me). He was walking by and my friends yelled out, "Hey! Let's call *insert name of other guy who likes me*" and then said some other things that made it seem like the guy they wanted to call was my boyfriend. Thing is, this guy isn't my boyfriend. I don't even like him. They said that to tease me because that guy likes me, and constantly reminds me of it and bothers me. Of course, the guy (the one I might love) was walking by. He just looked at me, with a look that I can't even explain. I just wanted to scream, "he's not my boyfriend!" But anyways, he kept walking, and I felt terrible.

After school, I saw him, and wanted to clear away to tension that was obvious, but didn't want to bring it up, so I asked him if he was going to this concert that's coming up (we both love the band, it's one of the things we initially bonded over.) This is when my heart breaks. He said, "I have two tickets, but my girlfriend *I'm leaving out this part of the explanation so it's not too specific*, so I might not go." I have never felt anything like I felt when he said girlfriend.

So, my question is, I'm sure he probably does have a girlfriend and everything, but, if he does, why would he make is seem like he was so into me? Also, is it possible that he was saying it to make me jealous, or to like, get back at me, because he thinks I'm dating that other guy?

I guess also, I'm probably just over thinking it, and he has a girlfriend, and doesn't like/love me, and I should just move on. But I really can't...try to understand, I love this person. And I know it's love; I've never felt anything so wonderful before. I can't imagine my future without him...I realize this whole post makes me sound like a stupid teenager, but I'm actually mature for my age. Always have been. I don't throw the word "love" around at all, so don't think this guy is just my flavour of the month, and next week I'll be over him and will have moved on. I've been in love with him for a year now. This is for real.

View related questions: has a girlfriend, jealous, move on

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A female reader, Sakura86 United States +, writes (15 September 2011):

Well, if I were you, I would ask around first. If he really has gf, sure someone will know about it. Why don't you ask your best friends to ask his friend for you? I mean just start conversation and naturally bring up his gf. Don't guess, since you will just go around and around in circle (maybe I think too much or he just wants to get back at me). You will be stuck there forever.

And if you knows that he does not have a gf, you should make a move to let him know that you are interested in you too, don't stand by and do nothing. While you wonder about if he likes you or not, he is doing the same thing as you do. And if he don't see a sign from you, he will easily to give up since you and him are nothing to each other now. With you, it is love, but what if it is just a crush for him?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011):

Since you seem too be obsessed with this guy, you're looking too much into it.

By 'intense staring'you mean you were staring at him, and he was just looking back at you in confusion.

And the conversations you had wasn't him trying to make you like him, it was just a conversation.

So, he doesn't like you, probably knows you're inlove with him, AND he has a girlfriend.

Step away and find somebody new, because this clearly isn't going too work.

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