A
female
age
41-50,
*inz1979
writes:Help! I'm ashamed to ask for help on this topic, but I'm in desperate need for some advise. I've dated 2 men off and on for a few years now and I need to decide who I should be with. Both men are very good to me. They love me so much and they would do anything for me. Mike is the introvert, he's very clean and organized, and I feel financially secure and comfortable at his home. The problem w/ Mike is the fact that he's a homebody and an introvert. He does what he wants to do and if he doesn't get his way he pouts like a 4yr. old. Sometime his tone of voice bothers me when he's not happy with something I did or said or any situation that upsets him. I am very much attracted to Mike. When he hugs me I melt into his arms, and we have a strong attraction towards one another. Now Ben, on the other hand, is very much a people person. Very respectful, has a big group of friends and family who love the guy. He never gave up on us no matter how crappy I treated him, he never turned his back on me. He's very messy though, and he doesn't have that comfort factor that I love at Mike's. Ben's house is a bit messy, and his brother lives with him, so I feel like I never really get that one-on-one time. He's smart, but he can't admit he's wrong for anything. He's got the beer gut, whereas, Mike has the athletic physique. All of us want to move on with our lives, but I don't know which direction that I should go. I've talked to my friends and family, and they like both of them equally. It's the strangest situation that I never thought that I'd get in to but here I am! Please help me!!
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (24 February 2009):
 You will know in your heart which guy is the right one for you - and if you dont, then neither of these guys are right for you!
while everyone has their faults, you should have found in one of them all that you want from a man. If you still wish that you could combine some of their traits and make one "perfect guy" then it shows you havent found that illusive mr right.
Go with what feels right for you and if neither option feels right then you have to move on and find someone new who can give you everything you want. Dont settle for someone just becuase you feel comfortable; you will end up resenting that person and wishing you had the man/relationship you dreamed of.
Good luck!
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