A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I have a couple of questions and am interesting in knowing how others feel about his topic.1. Why do people who've been together for a number of years fall out of love? What causes this?2. What can I do to prevent this? I fear it has become a pattern in my life, that after some length of time (usually around 5 years or more) I tend to lose interest in the person I thought I was so in love with. So either the person was never right for me, and it took me that long to recognize it (how sad is that?) or couples just grow apart around this time if they don't have enough in common. I really want to guard against this pattern but am at a loss as to what causes it. I could use suggestions if anyone has had this problem it is very devastating. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (10 December 2009):
I saw a documentary on this that suggested that most of the feelings of "love" that we experience will fade after 3 to 4 years.
They found that you find your partner more or less attractive than they actually are at different stages of this process.
The friendship, respect and compatibility of couples can keep them together for a lifetime with periods of falling in and out of love. It takes effort and understanding to keep it going but it can be done.
However, they did find an old couple who passed every test showing the same results as the teenagers who'd just met. They were just as in love as they day they met and basically disproved all the theories.
My view is that true love does exist and although it will not always feel as great as it could, it will always be there if you put the effort in to let it in to your life.
If you keep falling out of love then it could be you are with the wrong person, or it could be that you fall into a rut after a while and you both stop putting the effort in.
Without more details about how you conduct your relationships it'll be pretty hard to say where you are going wrong.
Good Luck!! xx
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