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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 17 years old an i have very strong feelings for someone a lot lot older than me. I love him to death, the only trouble is, he is 39 years older than me. When we are together we have so much fun and he makes me feel safe and happy. Other people think this relationship is wrong, i dont no whether to stop it or ignore the other people, please help me! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): i like somone 17 years its ok
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2006): notice something about the replies. the ones that say go for it are written from the heart. they see the goodness that your relationship can bring both of you regardless of your age difference.
they are also written by people who know first hand from their relationships or those of people close to them.
the other replies are written from fear and lack of direct first hand experience.
you are boldly going somewhere special. we all have enough of our own fears let alone taking on someone elses.
you need your heart when you navigate a relationship like this against societies prejudices.
it may last, it may not. but come from goodness and love and it's effects in your life will be positive.
the fact that you even have the courage to approach this relationship shows you have an open heart & mind.
my partner is 12 years different and we are soulmates :)
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female
reader, Sorcha +, writes (29 November 2006):
there are 2 many narrow minded people on this forum. love isnt something that can be put into an age bracket.
I'd like to ask you's...Did you choose the man/woman you love based on their age? How ridiculous. Love is special and you lot are tryin to tell this girl to split from this fella cus theres a few years between them??
Ok everyone has a right to their own say on here, including me...here's mine.
If you have strong feelings for this man, go for it. you wont know til you try pet. forget about people staring and laughing, thats their problem. If you are happier than you have been and so is he, then you are both doing something right. Enjoy your time together and treasure it. Happiness doesnt happen to alot of people in their life times. Sometime down the line, you may get hurt...but that could happen in any relationship. If you dont give it a go, u will never know and will always wonder. i do hope you are as happy as i am (i met my fella when i was 19 and he is alot older than me too)
Good luck
S x
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female
reader, Terrie-Anne +, writes (27 November 2006):
You are still young you need to think about the age diffrents and you should find someone less older. you should not feel like you have to be with this guy because you love him.I know someone who's with an older guy and it's worked out but it does not mean you're relationship will work out you have to think about this you are still a child in you're family's eyes so be carefull.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2006): Yeah something like what India says, but I say, not all old men needs being taken care of, just like not all young women need to be taken care of... 8]
However, as Ms. India had mentioned, you should really weigh this out a bit, cuz you're still quite fresh off the bat right now. At this age and era of your life, there's a good chance you don't really have a solid idea of where you're going to land or where you'll end up at. There are tons of things out there just ripe and ready for you to take a hold of. Guys to meet, movies to watch, experiences to be had.
Then again, this guy you're attracted to probably has a lot of things, and might even allow you to experience things that a lot of college guys and slightly older guys can't give you. For example, my Art 12 teacher fell in love and married my counsellor. She was 26, and he was 42 I believe. Since then, they have two kids, he's in his early 50's and is very healthy, travels the world, lead efforts in South Africa with students to build orphanages, takes his kids to experience new and uncanny things, etc, etc, etc. Very active guy.
Oh yes, I look up to him as well... Can't you tell? [laughs]
Well anyway, think things through and weigh in future prospects. Remember, the thing about risk is always there. If you don't do anything, you risk, if you do something, you risk. 8]
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (26 November 2006):
 He's 56?!??
Think of it this way. In 14 years, you'll be 31. Still in your prime, still young enough to wear tight tops and go to clubs and have fun with your friends. He'll be 70 years old. He'll hinder your youth while you have it... you'll have to take care of him.
Does he have feelings for you? Maybe he sees you as a daughter type, and that could be creepy to start a relationship.
The way I see it, enjoy your youth while you still have it. After college, seek this man out. If he still is interested in you and you're still interested in him, then pursue something. Otherwise, enjoy being young and reckless while you can.
He sounds like a great guy, but wait until after college before you make a final decision.
xxIndia
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