A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Complicated situation and I need help.I had been seeing this girl for almost a year. We were in love. However, we had some rough moments lately and a month ago we hit rock bottom. She went out with her friends on a random thursday night and got really really drunk. Turns out they met up with some guys really late and she ended up going home with one of them and slept with him. She confessed the next day and said she felt veruy guilty and sorry. I mis-handled the situation and yelled at her. She then asked for a break... Well, I was so devastetd and hurt, that I made up a story that I was having friends over the next day (sat). She assumed one of the people was an ex and she called me twice at 2am that sat morning!! Well, I told her the following week that I slept with my ex because I was so deeply hurt and devastated. Well, after a few weeks on our break I had seen a few more girls. Well, she asked about it and I told her. She finally decided to break up because she felt I could never be a one-woman man! The story about me hooking up really hurt her... BUT IT WAS A LIE! I really f'd up here. So now that we're done, I feel like I should clear the air..Do I go back and tell her the truth? I really miss her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): why is she upset that you hd sex with someone else (although this is not the truth). she had sex with the other man right. you may still have feelings for her so yes then just tell her you made it up. what is evident is that there is no trust in this relationship. why is she hurt anyway, she cheated on you , not you on her. blame shifting, why???
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): hey,i see your problem, i lie alot so i know how you feel. Chances are that even if you did tell her the truth she wouldn't believe you, just keep your distance, maybe send her a text telling her you need to talk if not then leave her be. She's hurt just as much as you were. Just give her a little time, she'll come around :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): you should most def. clear the air. but inorder todo it properly you two need to sit down with each other and she needs to be able to observre your body language to tell you are not lying. this may help, then again im a cop so i notice things of that nature... however if u are being commpletly honest with her shell b able to tell ur not lying if u can show her u were deply hurt and did it out of spite... good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): You realkly do need to tell her. Even if she doesn't get back with you, the truth is much better then a lie. I'm sure she'd rather you told her the truth then tell her that you slept with your ex whn you didn't really. Also, try telling her how you feel. Tell her that you were hurt from what she did but you still have feelings for her. good luck
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