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*aribo578
writes: Hi everyone iv got a big issue, i lied to my girlfriend about going to work in the mornings when i actually lost my job, i was instead at home looking for another job, when she asked hows ur day i had to lie to her, then i just couldnt do it she kinda knew i think and said if you know tell me n i didnt, ne ways in the end i told her, only yesterday, now she is very mad at me but i said to her the reason i didnt tell u was cos i knew you would go mad, What can i do or say to make it up 2 her? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2006): I have to agree with drpete. You made the decision not to tell her about your job loss because you feared her angry reaction. It appears you have a gf that may need to be reminded about what respect, solidarity and support is, in a relationship. People should feel secure and safe, in a healthy, equal love relationship, to confide to our partners, what has happened when a job loss occurs. Isn't this what we look for in our partners...emotionally supporting each other, when one of those partners flounder or life deals them a bad card? I agree, let her know 'why' you reacted the way you did. Open the lines of communication here and be honest. Tell her you need her not to over-react when something goes wrong like this. Let her know you need to feel safe being open with her without suffering a form of condemnation. She really needs to make some changes, as well. You both will get through this and good luck finding that job. I wish you both the best of luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2006): If this girl is reasonable then I don't think she will be too upset for long, it is probably just a shock to her.
I don't think her trust in you would be that badly damaged, but it all depends on what kind of relationship you have, and what kind of person she is.
As long as you tell her why you lied, and keep trying hard at getting a job, I think this situation should sort itself out without getting too serious.
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reader, haribo578 +, writes (22 June 2006):
haribo578 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni would never cheat on her though i love her too much how can i prove that to her?
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reader, auntie claire +, writes (22 June 2006):
 dear "haribo578" unfortunatly you have now lost her trust in you and its going to take you a good while to get it back. you have got to prove to her you won't lie again and go out find a job, and do the very best you can, or your going to loose her.
trust is a hard thing to earn back but if you keep at it you will
all the best xxx
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