A
female
age
30-35,
*emo45
writes:Hey guys, just in need of some quick advice. It might some pathetic or complex but I'd appreciate any feedback I get. I'm in love with my best friend. I withstrain with saying infatuated because I'm not obsessed with her, and I genuinely care about her feelings and without question put her before myself. I've known her for over 2 years but I've only really felt about her like this for under a year. Its unusual because I've never liked girls before, and I still don't look at them in the same way I look at guys. Shes maybe merely an exception to the rule. Recently however, I've struggled to juggle my life and its effected a previously very close relationship. Firstly, I suffer from depression and though I don't like to admit it, I do tend to struggle at regular intervals. I'm taking medication and seeing a concillor, though I don't feel particularly comfortable talking to her about this subject. I also attempt not to tell my best friend details about how I'm feeling in order to keep our socializing as positive as possible but this has recently backfired into me letting out a lot of frustration onto her. Secondly, she discussed to my sister about myself not liking her boyfriend (something I'd only recently expressed because she couldn't see that he was treating her like crap - which I partly had restrained myself from saying because I thought it was just my feelings being bias, but when it became apparent and a lot of her friends began telling her, I backed them up), before saying how she was going to meet him and not for her to tell me. Evidentally, my sister did tell me. I know its pathetic, I know its stupid but I just got too upset by it - I wanted to be there for her, not for her to hide things from me. Anyway, we discussed it and I got angry - she couldn't see that she'd made me upset. I know its just me being stupid but I can't keep living like this. Its not helping how I'm trying to rebuild my life from a difficult year last year, but I love her too much to just lose her in order for me to cope. I just want things back to normal but I can't seem to just get my head around it. Though I kept saying she was upsetting me, she kept threatening to do things I told her would make it worse - like having a go at my sister, before she discussed the situation with her dad who encouraged her to do so. I know she loves me very much as a friend but I'm not sure she can love her at the same level as I love her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): You should talk to your friend and tell her how you feel...feel about her. Don't tell her you want to be romatic with her. Tell her how much you care about her feelings and how you would do anything for her. And see how she reacts to your concerns about her. If she tells you she feels the same then maybe you can start a differnt relationship. And maybe she can trust you more with the things she trys to hide from you.
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