A
female
age
51-59,
*hippy2
writes:Please help. I have written before about this. My xbf keeps getting in contact with me - for sex. Silly me thinking he would leave his new gf for me for the amazing things I did for him.She is the complete opposite me and I realized this morning he is never coming back to me cause he doesnt want a good woman - he wants to be with someone fresh who he can control and tell her things she will believe for now.He seems to latch onto a woman. Not date and find someone for anything healthy.Ok so I know I have been used for three years to take care of him and his house and kids etc. But that is in the past.What I am having problems with is just ending it. I am NOT having sex again with him. IN ANY WAY. I wont even go in his house cause it is tainted now from her.But the sadness and the loss is so great. He doesnt like to talk or explore emotions he is like a big kid that way. Mama's boy and spoiled.I thought he wanted to grow with me but he didnt. I think he got tired of me getting stronger and asking for equal affection.When I read the four signs of a toxic relationship he is all FOUR - 1.Narcissistic 2.Addict 3.Cheater 4.Abuse - emotional.So why am I so sad - I cant see in my head that I should be HAPPY that he is with his next victim.What else can I try to do to get over with it?Please anyone who has a comment - It is the Holiday weekend here and I am just sick in tummy - but I am heading to the gym so that is a good thing...Thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009): I know exactly how you are feeling...I have experienced it.
All four of the signs you listed also decribed my ex.
It is normal to feel what you are feeling. Although I ended the relationship with my ex, and knew I had done the right thing...when I learned he was seeing someone else it hit me like a ton of bricks!
It's not that you want him back. You are grieving the loss as you would a death...it is the death of the relationship. The saddness also comes from what could've been but never was.
In time it will pass. The less time you spend dealing with him, the easier it will get.
Move on and find the life you deserve!
I have!
Good Luck, Stay Strong!
Britt
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