A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and i have been together for close to 3 years now. We are in love, our relationship is practically flawless and we are still very much attracted to each other. However I find one of our guy friends attractive. One thing for sure is that i would not cheat on my boyfriend, and i am confident in saying and sticking to that. When i hang out with this guy alone I feel a very slight sense of attraction between us, but on the whole we both acknowledge that we are just friends. He really is my closest guy friend and i really trust him. Also he and my boyfriend are friends.I keep having this strong urge to just cuddle with him (nothing more), I don't know if doing this would be wrong, if it would send the wrong signal to him or if i should get the idea outta my head altogether. Is that technically cheating? and if I'm so happy with my boyfriend (which i am!) why am i having this urge? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (30 March 2008):
 Sometimes we cannot help it , those feelings can come
because of the sexual attractions between the opposite sex.
Some people just ooze sex appeal and being near them can bring out those feelings.
It could be the lack of intimacy between you and your b/f
or your needs are not met by him.
Cuddling your friend could send him the wrong signals.
You can cuddle him in your mind and that is all you can do.
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (30 March 2008):
 You know this is wrong. This is how affairs start when people are married- a friendship that leads to a strong emotional connection that leads to wanting to be physically closer which leads to sex. You say you are sure that you would not cross that line but you already have. You are continuing an emotional connection with a man other than your significant other. If you have no intention of cheating sexually, you will stick to not feeding that emotional connection. That means no time alone, no phone conversations or emails- it's unnecessary and you can find female friends to fulfill this need.
However, if in your heart of hearts, you don't want to stop, don't lie to yourself and everyone else about "just being friends" because it's disrespectful to your boyfriend and yourself. People aren't dumb and your boyfriend doesn't deserve it. Be honest with what you want and take responsibility for it.
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