A
female
age
36-40,
*ib1
writes:I just got the job of my dreams but I'm still madly in love with my ex. He has been txting me and recently sent me one saying he was thinking about me. I also recently found out he spoke to a friend of mine and told her that if the woman he loves came to him and wanted things to be different and make a positive change then there would be hope.Problem is, my dream job is an hour and a half further away from him. (We broke up after he moved 2 hrs/out of state) Now I will be 3 1/2 hours away, and we both have funny schedules. No matter what I am going to focus on my new job but my heart is still hoping for a reconciliation. Does this situation sound hopeless? I already chose my career over love four years ago. I don't regret it but this love is not a puppy love like before. I am afraid I'll live to regret it. Anyone with long distance relationship advice or getting back together advice?PSI still haven't told my ex about the new job.
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female
reader, Lib1 +, writes (17 August 2008):
Lib1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I guess I didn't write my question clearly.
We were together for 2 years and broke up after the moved away. (I pushed for the break-up because he was taking his stress out on me).
I just got my dream job but I have NO intentions of giving it up. My question really is:
Do you think reconciliation is even realistic when I am about to start a new job even further away. Should I even bother... especially since he is only sending subtle positive messages to me?
A
female
reader, les +, writes (17 August 2008):
There are two things to consider here. One, like the first poster said, its very rare to find someone that you have that connection with and if your in love with him after four years, that is a very strong connection. You dont want to give up the love of your life. The other one is that your career is very important as well, and like the other poster said, he did move out of state while you were together and he does expect you to come to him and put the effort.
But I dont think you situation is hopeless at all. My ex- boyfriend and I lived six hours away from each other and saw each other almost every weekend. Its a little bit of an inconvenience, but 3.5 hours is not that much - you can eaasily see him every single weekend.
The main thing I would be concerned about is if he was willing to try. If he expects you to give up your dream job for him then no, he's not the right guy for you. However, if he's still willing to give it a shot, then start dating this way, and then you'll see what your heart tells you, either you'll need to be with him or not. But this way, you wont have any regrets that you gave up the love of your life or your job, b/c believe me, you can have both its just going to take a little bit of effort. But you have to talk to him and see if he's willing to make the effort as well.
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A
male
reader, quacks  +, writes (17 August 2008):
 I personally believe you are only here once and when i am older looking back at my life i would want to make sure that the major choices i made were the right ones. At the end of the day it is rare to find someone who you long to be with still there holding your hand that day in the future. Yes a career is important but you can bet it wont be there holding your other hand.. Its great to be an independently minded, strong career person but it's eve better to have someone to cuddle up to at night..
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