A
male
age
30-35,
*oshua.james
writes:I recently got into an argument with my wife over our sex life. to make a long story short im very affectionate and she isn't. but the argument got very heated and i slapped her then slammed her head into the wall. i cant express how much i regret this. ive never thought i was capable of doing such a thing. she is still with me and says she's not leaving. ive started counseling to deal with my anger, and ive completely stopped drinking. my question is what can i do to regain her trust. its the worst feeling ive ever felt to know that she is scared of me. i just want her trust back. the guilt is killing me. i havent slept since it happened (10 days ago) does anyone have any advice
View related questions:
sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sneha09  +, writes (23 March 2011):
 I think you should wait a little more,may be she is taking your advantage but let her do it for little more time.Getting angry,being rude is no solution, just keep quiet(though silent treatment are very much adopted by girls :) ) when you don't like something without remarking on it.Better if she gets it for good otherwise you can just move on by making it clear to her that you needed help from her(somehow she could not get that)but don't get into arguments and you should keep in mind you are leaving your anger and drinking habits for yourself not only for her.So don't adopt the way of being violent again.
A
male
reader, joshua.james +, writes (22 March 2011):
joshua.james is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'm still going to counseling and i really think it's helping. I'm not as angry anymore and i still haven't drank. I spend each day doing everything i can to make her happy, but i feel she is now taking advantage of the situation. she acts like she now has a green light to do whatever she wants no matter how i feel about it. anytime i try to tell her im uncomfortable with her doing something such as going to the bar with her friends on a week night without me she throws what happened in my face. do i deserve this or should i put a stop to it before it gets out of control?
...............................
A
male
reader, joshua.james +, writes (17 March 2011):
joshua.james is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThings are getting better slowly but shurely. now that I've quit drinking we havent got in a single argument. counseling seems to be helping me to control my anger a little bit. but she still wont look at me and will barely kiss me. i dont blame her one bit. im supposed to be the person that protects her, and i hurt her. more than anything i just want her to feel safe again
...............................
A
female
reader, sneha09 +, writes (14 March 2011):
its too rude and its very obvious that she will be scared of you after such a thing.Good to know that you have started counseling for your anger and want to get her back.I think you should behave nicely with her, should not indulge into arguments and should stand by her as at this moment she must be in-secured.Make sure that your behavior doesn't change with time. After some days, trust itself will be regained and then you can speak yourself out , so that she can realize you still care for her.According to me deeds count more than words, so at 1st gain her trust back by your deeds.
...............................
A
female
reader, LaLysia +, writes (14 March 2011):
Well it's sounds like you are doing the right thing by going to counseling. That will show her that you are trying to change your behavior. Drinking can cause a lot of problems in a relationship. If you are abusing alcohol and getting violent then you also need help with that. All you can do is allow time to heal her pain. I've been in a abusive relationship and it can become a crazy cycle, so get the help you need now! She may need to sit in on a counseling session with you so you both can talk about yall's feelings.
...............................
|
