A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been talking to this guy online for over three months now. We've video chatted as well, have a lot in common it seems. We have a mutual acquaintance, which is good considering how many people fake their identities online. We haven't met yet because we live very far away from each other. We're talking countries away. There is a good possibility that we will meet next month though, which has me on a roller coaster of emotions. My family would call me crazy for thinking this, considering how smiley I was about a month ago, but I don't know if all those things we have in common are the right things to have in common. Or if they and the distance aren't masking something that would be a deal breaker.But, I've never really been in a relationship, which makes this all kind of scary for me. I'm afraid I'll make the wrong decision, I'll end up like my aunt who everyone compares me too. And she ended up with a first husband who was violent and a second husband who continues to control her to this day.At the same time I wonder if I'm being too picky, selfish, non-committal, take your pick. I'm the only one not married of my siblings, in a religious family where everyone tends to marry young and tease you until you do so.I seem to have a lot of questions, and the people I usually turn to are just patting me on the back and saying it'll all be fine. Can someone else please help me figure out something, anything?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Slippers  +, writes (26 December 2015):
Happy boxing day sweetie
I think your looking so far down the line things are getting over whelming and blurry .. you are not your " aunt" .. you are you .. and her mistakes are not yours .. no one has a crystal ball and can tell you .. how this or anything will work .. being fussy isn't a bad thing as long as your not over looking people for petty reasons .
My advice, don't let this run ahead of you .. be friends and wait until you can met and if that happens and if there is something there .. then it's time to plan ahead and find out as much about him as you can .. ask your mutual friend to share funny stories .. serious stories .. get an idea of the guy ..
In the meanwhile get out there and flirt with other guys .. three months of chat is not a relationship not yet .. your not cheating or anything if you met someone in real time .. so have no expectations on each other ( with the online guy )
Everyone finds someone when they are ready .. just tell your family .. and enjoy being single as being couple is great .. but you have someone else to take into account ..their feeling wants etc .. so get out with the girls while you can haha and have fun .
Take care x
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