A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I no longer feel enthusiastic about seeing my girlfriend. We haven't been together all that long, but in the early stages she was a lot of fun. Unfortunately, she's gotten very clingy. She wants to see me every day. I'm flattered, but if I say no, she gets moody. I want to continue seeing her, but just thinking about it is a little draining. What's wrong with me? What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): i felt the same about my boyfriend and i did not even know why really. The more distant i was the worse he felt and we ended up arguing more than doing anything nice together. i just think we can't force ourself to love a person. things went from bad to worse and we have now split up
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies, everyone.
Is there any way I can regain my enthusiasm?
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A
female
reader, kayla20 +, writes (21 August 2009):
 because she has become clingy its making you naturally back off, no one wants to be in an obsessive relationship you need to continue keeping you life and the relationship seperate otherwise it will not work. i think maybe she is becoming clingy towards you is because she has developed strong feelings for you maybe even love and she wants to spend every minute with you. you need to explain to her that you dont want the relationship going stale and you like not seeing her every day as that way when you do see each other it is more exciting
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A
female
reader, silly sue +, writes (21 August 2009):
There is nothing wrong with you! It is normal to become a bit distant when one is being pressured into emotional commitment. She will sense that you are absentminded when with her and this will provoke more neediness on her side. As a result you will feel even more distant to her. So if you want to keep her make your feelings known: say openly that it is going a bit too fast for you and that you are emotionally not ready to be together everyday, that sometimes you have pressing issues that you need to attend to and because of that you find it difficult to concentrate on two things at once: tell her that you would rather see her less often but be able to give the "full attention she deserves". Set a date when you will call her and stick to it. She gets moody because she feels that she is being left hanging when you are not calling her: when you make a clear plan that you call her lets say in two days in the evening and stick to it, then she will have to accept it and she will feel that she knows what is happening.Be open and honest (well without saying hurtful things..), and show her respect, but also behave in a way that shows that you respect your own boundaries.Take a break form her for a while, and then see if you are interested in her at all. Basically she has started making emotional demands on you and you are not ready for this yet. It is probably best to make her aware of this and ask her to slow down, give you a bit of space. Make her aware that you have an emotional life of your own, which ticks at a different pace than hers and that she cannot just press a button and extract a response she likes from you. Don't hide yourself from her though: this will give her the justification to behave in a needy way.Good luck.
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