A
male
age
36-40,
*ack Rabten
writes:If I tell you our whole story, it may help you to find more helpful advances on our issue!I’m a teacher at an adult’s language school and I have been teaching here for more than two years now! Two years ago, when I was 26, I started to work in this school and as an adult school, there has been lot of girls ( girl students, most of them are above 20) involved with me, to sent sms, or gave letters to me but I never responded to them! There were two reasons that I didn’t responded.One: I broke up with my ex-girlfriend just at that time when I started work in this school that I used to love. And it was really hard for me to forget her!Two: As a teacher, I should not fall in love with a student even they are almost my age. Because our society is very strict with this kind of things and they love to talk about these kinds of things. Finally I used to date with some girls in these two years but them all not my type; we don’t have a common view on our life style. So I didn’t make it! Anyway, I’m a man who trusts in love and respect love this thing as the saying goes “LOVE IS SOMETHING THAT WE CAN NOT LIVE WITHOUT”. On other hand, I think it’s very important for us to married with one we love but again there is a problem that I have. My mom, she is in her sixties and not very in good health condition. She thinks if I will get married with someone before I’m 30, she will be very happy. And she always wanted me to get married. I used to tell her that in the western countries, most of people only married after their 30s but she said “you are not westerner!!!” So sometimes I really don’t want to let her down, because I love her! But what I will do? Should I listen to her or my own decision???Anyway, our story started last year summer. One day when I come to the class there was a new girl student. I thought she was around 19 or 20 years old but accept asking her name I didn’t give any special attentions to her as it is very normal in our school as this is an adult school, all the time students come and go. But then one day, one of my friends come to me and introduced that girl to me and said she is his cousin sister. From then on, I started to talk to her and I found out that she is different from other girls in my class. She and me really have many common views on our life style and she is a special. And we become quite close. But I never had any feelings as I was her teacher.We had some great times together with our other students; As local Tibetans love to do in the summer, we also went to a picnic or a tricking for one day in a poor car. But it doesn’t matter how poor our car was, I couldn’t imaging how beautiful was the small grassland at the river bank where we had our lunch, and how beautiful the smiles I saw on their faces. That was the most beautiful time in my life.Anyway, two months passed very quickly as it always does in the summers time and she had to go back to her school in mainland China. So two three days before her left, she has left a gift for me with her friend. Accept that gift, nothing special was happened between us. But one day, her brother called me and said go out for a dinner but accept go out, I asked him to come to my place. to my surprise, she was also with him and I found she was uncomfortable at my place. And since then, some of my boy students started to say “Sir, she likes you” but I said to them don’t say it, she is so young and there is no reason that she has to like me. But they continually say “really she likes, she always ask about you”. But I never give any special attentions to them.Anyway, I was already dating with a teacher at that time and she is good to me, so I thought I could get married her in the near future if really my mom’s not going to let me make my own decision. But to be honest, she is not my type but if I will get married, I have my own promise that I will be good to her and will only love her.But then, things started to go wrong with me. Few days after, I got a call from her in mainland China, far from me and that was different, I also got some strange feelings. Anyway she started to talk strange things but I didn’t care about at first. But than from then on, she started to contact with me more and more and I thought it was not usual and I started to ask her why she still keep in touch with me. At first she was shying to tell the truth and didn’t say a single word but after sometime, she said “you really don’t know?” I said “I don’t know what is going on.” Then again, she didn’t say a single word for a while. But as I thought that’s way, I asked her “if was not wrong, you like me, am I right?” Then slowly with shaking her voice, she said “yes, since the first time I stepped in your class, I started to like you.” This few words shocked my world and made me speechless. She is such a young beautiful girl and there was no reason to like me but i had to accept her feelings and respect her because she was faraway from her parents and she was alone at a strange place, so I couldn’t hurt her. At first I said nothing but then after sometime, after thinking too much, I thought it was impossible and said to her that I have girlfriend. At first she said why you didn’t tell me that you have girlfriend. But she never asked me before and I never knew that she likes me. Anyway, then she was crying on the phone and it was really hurt, hurt in my heart, because she is too young to hurt from love. Again after that I used to tell her that there is no way that we could be together but she just doesn’t care, anyway. About one month ago, she has come back to the city where I live and asked me to meet her. I was not feel good to meet her in the public but I had no choose, so I meet her for few minutes and again she give me a sweater that she says its very cold in these days. Everything she does for me and every word that says to me can touch my heart and I really don’t know what to do! Now my relationship with my ex is getting worse and worse, I wanted to leave her alone early but she is not feeling well in these days so I cant leave her for now. I really don’t know what I’m going to now, I told the 18 year old girl that better we separate and you wont hurt anymore, but she says “it doesn’t matter I’m happy or hurt with you, whatever I do something for you is a pleasure part of my life.”Anyway, she is 10 years younger than me and also she is from a rich family….but I’m only a simple teacher, who spent all his time with books and computer! What should I do now??? There are lots of different things between us so we are 90% impossible but she always asked me to wait her for 5 years or more, until finish her higher studies and said “nothing can change my love for you and nothing can stop our future!? What should I do now??????????????????????????P.S (There most be lot of mistakes in English grammar, my English is not very good, if anyone who can help me to make it more clear and standard article, then please help me correct it!”
View related questions:
broke up, cousin, ex girlfriend, my ex, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): Thank you very much you both! I love the young woman and she loves me too! Thank you, please more advances!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): Hi! I agree with BARDIA, that you should not anyone(even if it is your mum) influence you in such a big desicion as mariage is. Mariage should be build on real love and it would be really selfish to marry sb you dont love just for being married, because the girl would not get the opportunity to marry her love,that she could meet later(I would not like someone to marry me, so that his mother was content, it is not fair.) Please do not do that to that girl. And why do you date that girl, when you seem to not like her that much. I dont know how she is ill, but you should break up with her carefully, tell her why she is special, but that you do not think she is THE ONE for you and that she will find her MR. Perfect:) From the story I did not get whether you love that young girl or not. If you do, you should try it. 10 years is OK, my granddad was elder 11 years from my grandmum and they rest together whole life and loved each other, I guess(from my grandmum´s stories:)) And even if you will date that young girl or someone else, do not hurry up just because of your mum wanting you to marry. I think it is really amoral from her to tell you to marry as quick as possible, she should let you be, you are her son, so she can give you advices, but not emotionally blackmail you. I wish you good luck and pleaaase, do not marry your Mrs. Right, that is made for you:) Thank youA western:D girl from Czech Republic:)
...............................
A
female
reader, bardia  +, writes (15 February 2012):
 What a romance story. You have a lot to address, one thing at a time. First, unless it is a mandatory thing in your country (and I doubt it is), don't allow your mother to pressure you into any relationship. You don't want to end up in one just because she wanted you to do it. I understand not wanting to disappoint your parents (oh, do I EVER understand that), but this is something that must be your choice. Second, if you are still with the older woman and you love her, then cut ties with the younger woman pursuing you. If you are not in love with her, again, don't force yourself into something because you feel obligated in some way to her (even if she is ill--life happens--you can be there to support her through whatever the illness is, but you cannot be held to her just because of that). Third, if you truly love this younger woman, then by all means wait for her. She obviously loves you and has gone to great lengths to try to be with you. But again, YOU must truly love HER as well. Take time to think about it all and once again, don't let anyone pressure you into anything you don't want to do in this situation. Good luck and may you find your true love, one way or another...
...............................
|
