A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Helo aunts.. Need some advice. Im a 27 year old lady whose being single for almost my entire youth. I had a babe when i was 17 the father denied the pregnancy, then i told my self it was a lesson for me and since then i never had a relationship until i was 24, 25. During those year i went on a date with few guys but it didnt last with all of them because everytime they try to kiss me i would feel like they wanna take something important out of me like my heart and i will pull away and then the next time i see the guy i would tell them im not ready. Fortunately those guys were understanding i think. I decicded not to date until i feel that im ready to share my feeling with an opposites sex. Now im 27 my son is 10yrs. I met this guy at work hes a good guy. We went on dates few times and i told him about me not being able to express my feelings to a guy. Then he always assured me that i shoulnd worry and should take everything as it comes. But now my problem is i worry alot because everytime he ask me how am i doing i keep saying its fine even if im not i cant tell him the things i dont like that he does. I cant decide for my self what is good for our relationship. I cant initiate anything sex, , kiss and a mere conversation. Please i really want this relationship to work i might loose him because im so hard on my self and feelings. I realy love him and i want to be with him. Please please guys help me on how should i contribute to the relationship. How do i kiss him, make conversation and everything that partners do without waiting for him to start. Thank u aunts in advance. Stressed and inlove
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female
reader, m_dc  +, writes (12 May 2011):
I feel for your situation. It is hard to trust someone after going through something so traumatic. Raising a child on your own is no easy feat and it is right that you haven't just found the next man and have waited until you feel ready. Now it seems you are ready to move on. You need to realize that you deserve love and deserve to be happy. It is not your fault that you were betrayed by someone you trusted but now you need to work on letting go of the past. Find confidence in the lovely things he says to you. You need to find yourself again and it seems like you lost yourself in the years of being a mum. You can kiss him, you just have to learn again how to feel sexy and feel like a woman again. Force yourself to take the plunge. Get your confidence levels up and only you can do that. If you do it once it will get easier the next time and less awkward. Have a glass of wine and relax, tell yourself you can do this and then you can. But make sure you tell him that it is not him who is the problem be completely honest and let the chips fall where they may. Try doing something really spontaneous. Maybe you could try telling him you find him sexy. Watch the look on his face. Men love their ego being inflated and both of you will feel good about it. Make him feel good and this will help you to feel good too. Good luck to you
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