A
male
age
41-50,
*ahoo
writes:l am a 30 year old guy and so intrested in older women . l even joined a dating site where l found to be so reliable and finaly got what l was looking for . a 37 year old woman , few hours after chating we had to meet at her place where we could spend a night . all went well but our agreement was on a one night stand , now l have developed a huge feeling that l can no doubt call love for her but she dont seem to pay much attention about the matter . what must l do to win her heart ? please help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (27 June 2012):
Hi there. People usually do form an emotional attachment, after making love.
It seems to be a normal course of events.
As the agreement between you, was for it to be a one night stand only, it looks as though she isn't looking for any kind of commitment at the moment.
She could be fresh out of a relationship.
Or, she might not trust men.
Do you have her phone number? Or mobile number?
If you do, well then leave it a few days and why not give her a call?
And if you decide to call her, well then right off the top say to her, that you feel the same way - about not getting into a serious relationship - however, could you and her be friends.
And you could also say, that you would like to see her again and take her somewhere nice - like to a nice restaurant, for instance.
Or, you could keep it light and friendly and ask her out for a coffee one day soon.
So by saying this, she knows you are not going to pressure her for a relationship straight away.
And if it is the case, that she has just come out of a relationship very recently, well then it's perfectly understandable, that she would want to give herself some breathing space before starting anything serious again.
So what you can offer her now, is friendship.
And friendship is a pretty good place to start.
And when and if you DO decide to call her, DON'T tell her you have feelings for her, because it might scare her off.
And also when and if you contact her again, make sure that you CALL her, to speak to her via normal conversation.
What I am saying really, is DO NOT just text her to say what you want to say.
And when you DO eventually call her - and don't leave it too long (if at the moment it's only been a few days to one week), well then you could call her within ONE week of your last seeing her.
The longer you leave it, it will just seem like you have almost forgotten who she is, and you only called her because someone else let you down.
This is what she would think.
So you want her to know you are sincere, and that builds her trust in you.
Trust is crucial to a happy relationship.
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