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I feel very ashamed and dirty after masturbation! Please help!

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2008) 19 Answers - (Newest, 15 August 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

i'm a female and thirteen years old.

ive posted a problem like this before but didnt get much help tbh.

the thing is after i masturbate and after i have an orgasm i feel really really ashamed and dirty and i end up hating myself

i reakky dont understand it because masturbation is supposed to make you feel good about yourself right?!

does anybody have a solution?

please help me :(!!

View related questions: orgasm

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A male reader, hope i helped Australia +, writes (15 August 2011):

think you are in another place it helped me alot

plus u shouldnt feel bad its normal to masterbate it should make u feel good about your self

hope i helped :) :) :) :) :)

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A female reader, ranisoftrani India +, writes (24 April 2011):

donot feel ashmed my child. there is no harm; when you vent out and satisfy your needs without harming any one else. do not feel guilty; that is bad. be proud that you have not harmed any one. do you know that as my man does not satisfy me; after each incident i satisfy myself.

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A male reader, Found Love United States +, writes (20 September 2010):

I got use to feeling good and feeling ashamed. I did have a religious teaching that masturbation was bad. At some moment I just didn't care because I loved the high of masturbation. The problem for me was masturbation was always the easy escape for a real problem of no one to share sexual pleasure with. Since I limited myself to sharing sex with only my married partner, I had a bigger problem of finding a mate and getting married. Looking back I did not have to wait too long. But each week when I masturbated daily, I didn't pursue real woman. When I (as difficult as it was) stayed away from touching myself, I began to actively seek a date. The goal was to marry. Now I am married. I don't feel guilty because I don't masturbate anymore. I only feel guilty if I arrive and my wife does not.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010):

Its unfair how everyone thinks its wierd for girls to masturbate, but when guys do it its totally cool..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010):

thats EXACTLY how i feel. Its unfair how everyone thinks its wierd for girls to masturbate, but when guys do it its totally cool.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010):

i know how you feel a lot of people feel "dirty" after masturbating so did i but i just stopped doing it but don't stop if you don't want to

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A male reader, Dude243 South Africa +, writes (21 June 2010):

im a guy and i feel bad after doing it too.

for me its very weird because i feel bad for almost nothing.

i have done bad things and pranks gone wrong and ive never felt bad. However when i masturbate i feel good then i feel guilty after its over. im not sure if i feel bad because ive done something wrong or i just didnt want it to be over so quickly. but whatever the reason there is no reason to feel bad.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008):

I am the same age, female. and do it all the time. no need to worry. and dont feel bad, its normal. relax, and enjoy the time you spend with your self.

hope i helped.

i x

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A male reader, Bladejunkee United States +, writes (19 September 2008):

Bladejunkee agony auntNo, it is not meant to make you feel good about yoursself, it's just meant to make you feel good. And did you know that masurbation can relieve up to 86% of your stress? Maybe you just feel bad because the amount of stress you have is what gives you a decent portion of your personality. Don't feel dirty as in ashamed, feel dirty as in horny. That if anything. Because if you feel ashamed, you will gain stress and the only other way as efficient is to cut yourself. And I don't know you, but I don't want you doing that. Anyway, good luck.

Your reviewer

Bladejunkee

Post Script: If this helped you,

feel free to message me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008):

Dont feel guilty! masturbation is normal! I bet most your friends do it even if they dont admit it! your not alone! Its healthy, dont feel ashamed! H x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008):

According to a survey 99.8 % of boys and 80 % of girls masterbate before the age of 20. One of the tribes in southern part of India they encourage children during puberty to masterbate for reason being to bring down their sexual urge. So why are you feeling ashamed of your act. It is a natural thing with no harm to yourself and others.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (2 June 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntIf you really feel that bad, then you should not masturbate.

If you cannot stand and want to masturbate,

then you need to re orientate your mind.

Throw away those knowledge you learned from the gutters or

from some religious and pious soul.

Who said it is dirty?

There is nothing to be ashamed off.

We are not living in the Queen Victoria's time where nice girls don't masturbate.

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A male reader, bobbay123 United Kingdom +, writes (1 June 2008):

I think there is a natural feeling of privacy with masturbation. It's not something that, in earlier life, you share with anyone but yourself.

And if anyone intrudes in this then you get a sense of embarrassment perhaps. I do anyway.

Perhaps in School some people have ridiculed it or something. Or maybe someone has told you it's wrong.

It's not. Personally when it comes to masturbation I keep myself to myself. But others like to talk about it with friends and stuff.

It's a personal choice. I'm unsure on why you feel dirty but maybe its a sense of embarrassment and you're taking a wrong approach on your emotions.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

you shouldnt feel ashamed

many girls masturbate

its meant to make you feel good

you shouldnt feel dirty or ashamed its just natural

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (31 May 2008):

rcn agony auntIt makes you feel good in a gratified sense. Your issue lies in how you look at the act. I'm not someone who has one night stands. If I we're to, lets say because I was drunk and it seemed as a good idea at the time, when I came to realize my behavior, I might feel bad about making that decision.

I'm not saying masterbating is a bad act. If someone says they've never done it, their probably lying. I want you to think about why you look at it as a dirty act. Why do you feel ashamed for making yourself feel good. Has anyone taught you or tried to get you to believe its a sin, or is it something you are embarrased by.

You are not a bad person from your act. If we could put a neon light on the head of everyone who has masterbated, we wouldn't need the use of streetlights, everyones heads would keep the streets nice and lit.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

well dont worry abut it, a lot of people are and have been doing it since the time of the cavemen.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

i felt bad after masterbating because in my family was so religious that any thing slightly sexual was bad but what you have to relise is that there is nothing imoral about it its how you and outher people relive tension.and if you keep feeling bad you can stop no one is forcing you to do it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

Hey there, I think what your experiencing is common for a girl of your age. You're only very young and new to all these experiences physically but more so emotionally. There is nothing to be ashamed of about exploring your body through masturbation, as they say "your body is your temple" and you know it better than anybody else.

I think masturbation by women is still considered by some narrow minded people as something only porn stars do, something that is dirty, or something only desparate girls do if they can't find a guy. All of which is a pile of Crap. Lots of women and girls do it, it's a safe way to explore your body/sexuality (you can't catch STD's and you can't get pregnant, etc).

In so far as changing the way you feel afterwards, I think it's something that will change as you get older. Having said that, if you feel uncomfortable about it afterwards then perhaps it's best at this stage not to do it. Yes, it can make you feel good, but so does chocolate. You're only young, don't stress too much over this issue, just know what you're doing is normal, and so is how you feel.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

ok.

Well a lot of young girls have this problem because of morals that they have picked that suggest that this kind of activity is bad.

For example:

This can be from religious beliefs or from your mother or father telling you not to sratch or poke at yourself (down there) when you were a child.

Although you feel as though you should feel better afterwards there is probably still a part of you that thinks you shouldn't be doing it... Or are you worried that you would get caught?

It will take time to get over, but what you're doing is not wrong and even if you don't talk about it with your friends or if they would say "never...eww" or something along those lines... You are not alone... No where near it infact.

Hope this helped you a little.

Emivia.

X

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