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anonymous
writes:My ex and I haven't really spoken until reccently when we've decided to be friends. We both feel the same about each other as we always have but have decided that it's best we stay friends. What really scares me that i feel as if he's the love of my life and everybody else will be second best to him. I'm only 17, when i was met him i never expected to like him let alone love him and for him to be the love of my life. And the foolish thing is i told him, i wish i didn't. Why do i feel this way but he doesn't it just seem fair? I feel like there no point looking for mr right because I've found him. I don't wanna feel that way, I want to go out there date a bunch a guys and feel like its worth it because in the end i'll found my mr right. I'm not even sure i'm making sense. I just feel like i'm so young to fall for someone so hard. and I just don't know what to do or say. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2006): Dear, it sounds like you took a far worse 'painful hit' over this breakup, than your ex bf. Did you go along with something you really didn't want to do? (the decision to break up and stay friends) This is why I always question if 'remaining friends for now' is such a good idea. Simply because you are still grieving and you need closure. You can't do anything about what has occurred with your bf-but you can do a lot to help yourself. I think just a change in your way of thinking might help you. Take the negative self-talk out of your mind and realize that you are labeling any new potential suitors, even before you even date new guys "No one compares to my ex bf" and "I feel like there no point looking for Mr Right because I've found him" are labels that can having a powerful impact on how you feel about other wonderful guys, that could come into your life. You will recover and one day you will realize that you are young and vibrant, that life isn't over and you will look at what happened with youe ex bf-as an opportunity to a new beginning for you.
I do understand you feelings right now because you had built a relationship with your ex bf, based on trust and love. But if you trust yourself enough to become strong, keep a positive attitude and do all you can to heal, you will move forward. Right now, you are fearing you will never find that 'love' again. As long you are focused on this negative mindset and this ex bf, you will always have trouble putting your heart and mind into moving on getting your life in order and starting another relationship, if you want one.
Learn to trust again by trusting yourself. You don't have to date. Enjoy the fancy free life of a single girl. In time, you will recover (I guaruntee you will) and then you will faith in yourself to be able to put yourself on the line with someone special. But if you're alawys going to be afraid to make the leap 'into the unknown' and give some new guy a chance to win your heart-then this way of thinking is not about the old bf nor the new guy...this is all about you. It just takes time, patience, self-love and a positive frame of mind. I think the best thing to do now, is to focus on yourself. You need to have closure on past experiences before you can start a new relationship with the odds in your favor. There are many great guys out there and someday, when you are ready...you will discover that. Good luck, dear and be strong
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess your right he can't be Mr Right if he doesn't feel the same. It just I wish I could know why i feel this way about him. No he isn't really easy to love sometimes, he can very difficult emtionally but sometimes he just amazing person. I have to say that it was my first ever relationship that i committed myself to and took serious. I wanna get over him but i just can't, I've tried and I tried but he always there in the back of my mind.
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male
reader, Roki +, writes (13 July 2006):
Well, first off, heres what you forgot about one of the Criteria of 'Mr.Right'
And that is, he has to feel that you are Mrs Right.
He obviously doesn't feel this way, because he cannot appreciate you, and you know it's not you causing this incompatibility, it just ...is.
Let me be the first to tell you the logical obvious. He's not your Mr.Right.
I wonder if you're a very 'Committed' person. You haven't mentioned much about yourself, so i won't make any guesses. I'll ask you this howerver, was he very easy to love?
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