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female
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*onfuscious
writes: Ive been dating my boyfriend for just over 9 months. He was forced to move from New Zealand to Australia just over a year ago. He treats me so well, he cleans the house and tries to make an effort when i say im not happy with things. He is a mans man yet will melt for me. He won't open up and ever tell me how he is feeling about anything and insist he never really has an opinion on anything. I feel he doesnt love me like he is suppose to otherwise he would be able to tell me what he feels. As he was forced to come over here from NZ i feel he might be with me for the sake of being with somone because he is lonely. I feel like he's looking to start the next stage of his life having moved from NZ partying all the time now he wants to settle down and start a family He told me he loved me way too early in the relationship. We moved in too early aswell as he wasnt happy where he was so i asked him to move in with me. Now we have our own place. I feel like we dont date anymore as we never go out. Im only young and still like going out to clubs, and he doesnt like going out. I constantly ask him to do things with me as it doesnt seem like were dating and he makes no effort to try and impress me or do anything special or thoughful. I make suggestions all the time but he always ends up cancelling, or being too tired from work or not likeing the suggestion and i feel i am always doing nice thoughtful things for him like remembering certain things he likes and i will go out and buy them for him - even down to a certain treat he likes. I feel he doesnt know much about me and is always talking about himself and things he did when he lived in NZ. He never asks me questions about myself and im always asking him questions. Ive read various articles that almost make exscuses for guys that they are just not that thoughful when it comes to things but i feel if he really loves me he would think of me. The only thing that keeps me here is how nice he is and everyone tells me what i great guy he is because he always helps out at my mums house or makes an effort with my family but they dont see behind closed doors..I feel like he doesnt love me for the person i am and just wants the concept of a girlfriend and a family. I dont know what sign i should be looking for to stay or to go. He's a good catch but i dont feel he knows me for me. My parents are split so i dont want to waste my life and make the wrong desicison with a guy is love over-rated.
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female
reader, Confuscious +, writes (16 October 2006):
Confuscious is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI try and communicate all the time. I am a very open person and am always asking him how he feels about something and telling him how he feels. People tell me that mean have to be 'trained' and they dont know how to do certain things like open up or have a great conversation and you have to 'train' them but i dont belive that. He doesnt try and get away infact whenever he is out even to drive down to the shops he will call me and let me know what he is doing and how far away from home he is. Its just so confusing and i dont want to waste my life with the wrong guy. I feel if it were the right thing to do i would be sure of it and not always questioning it. The hardest bit to get my head around is the fact he moved here from another country and practicalyl has no one. So anyone he can get he will take so he wont be lonely, and in wanting this he does anything to keep me but just wont open up.
A
female
reader, agony- aunt-kid +, writes (13 October 2006):
 Well to me he seems like he has a lot on his mind why do you not try talking to him about it.To me it sound like there is a lack of comunication between the two of you and how you feel is just proving it.Does he go out a lot by himself maybe if this happens he is trying to get away to have time out if so this means that things are getting to much for him and he needs some time to himself do not be alarmed nobody can assume what is on his mind and the only way to relsove this problem is to talk to him.
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