A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have recently moved in with my on/off partner of 7yrs. He used to live live with his mum but she passed away 4 mths ago and he has now decided he wants to be a proper father. The problem i have is that he has started pressureing me to give up work to be a stay at home mum as i work 3 hrs a evening and he doesnt like having to care for the children alone. Not only that but we arent a very close couple, we never go out together, we dont have a sex life, i feel that all he s after is a substitute mother. I often felt our relationship never had a chance when his mum was alive and now i feel like he wants me to take over her role. I cant approach him about this as he has suddenly put the house she left him up for sale and if i pull the plug he will be left homeless. I dont want to spend my life stuck with someone who doesnt really love me.
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female
reader, unmeidaagonyaunt  +, writes (2 November 2011):
 You are hoping for your man to change, and I just don't see that happening. You have known this guy for 7 years, and for seven years you have felt like you were the "second string" to his mother.
Now, just because his mom is gone, you think that things are going to change? Hoo boy ...
Long story short: you have waited the better part of a decade for this relationship to work, and it still isn't working. Not only that, but you closed your post with an indication that you are not ready to communicate with him about the very issue that means life or death to your relationship. I think it is time to face the facts ... this relationship is over, and as much affection as you have for this guy, it's not enough to overlook some very glaring holes.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (1 November 2011):
 If he sold his mothers house, he would have made some money correct?
If you are done with the relationship, tell him, and if you can/want to give him 14 days -30 days to find a new place. He sounds like a room mate not a "partner".
I think there is a reason why your relationship was an on/off one to begin with. It wasn't stable or build on mutual affection, but perhaps two people who were comfortalbe with each other? two people who weren't ready to start over with "new" people?
You need to figure out what you really want to do with your life and act on it.
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