A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I don't know what to do. My mom is getting married and before that we had plans to buy a house. I don't want to live with her and her husband I like him ok but living with them where we are aggravates me. At our place theres constant noise, cant sleep well and i work two full time jobs. Talking has not helped. He's picky and moody and tries to treat me like a child. He doesnt think when he speaks at times. But he loves my mom. I dont want to move in with them...But she needs my help buying the house, credit and down payment. I don't mind but I want my own place. I'd like my own house too but I don't know how to tell her. I trust her and love her and I know she would feel betrayed if I backed out. Please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 April 2013):
 IF she can't afford a house without you, then sadly she can't afford a house.
Tell her that now that she's getting married the terms of your agreement have changed and you will not live with her and her husband. Tell her they need their privacy.
IF she pouts or whines or blames you, then sadly your mother is not a grown up and I'm sorry for this.
I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be to have a parent who's not responsible enough to buy a home without the help of their CHILDREN who they are supposed to be taking care of them.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2013): It's not an adult child's responsibility to support a parent.
If your mother's marrying a guy who can't afford to buy her a house, then she either needs to rent or else find a husband who can support her in the style to which she would like to become accustomed.
Do not let her emotionally blackmail you, and do NOT allow yourself to become entangled in her affairs, financial and otherwise.
You have your own life to live, start living it.
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