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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I met a guy in October, we've been Emailing each other pretty much every day, met up 3 times. He lives in another city, so the last time we met up, he said he would be leaving after the New Year so we should meet up again. We exchanged X'mas gifts...he gave me 3 things, each of which were rather thoughtful in my opinion. We continued Emailing afterwards, but I haven't heard from him in 3 days, which is pretty unusual. The last email i sent, I asked if he'd be free to meet up before he leaves, and to let me know when's a good time. Ideally I would like to see him on New Year's Eve...I implied this in the X'mas present I gave him, also stated in the X'mas card I gave him that I hope we could continue to meet up as it is nice to spend time with him. Should I just leave things the way they are? Or should I email him again, or call/txt msg him? I don't want to appear too pushy as I feel I've already done a lot. On the other hand, I am a bit concerned why he hasn't replied in 3 days...would he be ill? But then if I call/txt him asking if he's ok, and it turns out nothing's wrong, it makes it seem as if I am overly concerned and desperate. Any advice? Thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2007): Thanks for all the responses...especially Irish49, it was very encouraging.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006): What a quandry for you. I have some thoughts that may or may not apply to your sitiuation..so take what you want from it...or ignore it. It's up to you. Firstly, all I have to say if you are fearing that he may think badly of you (re: pushiness) for emailing him once again, then perhaps you should re-evaluate what you mean to him. You have just met in October so to me, it doesn't sound to me any promise of this being 'exclusive' has been clarified or has it? Dating is a selection process and woman need to 'choose' wisely. Don't act like you want him to 'choose' you. Remember that.. It will empower your way of thinking, it builds your confidemce and will make a guy's confusing actions so much more clear. Choice is a 2 way street...both people have to make the huge efforts. So, if you have emailed him and he hasn't responded, all this is leaving you baffled, confused, then I have to say...no more contact. You have done enough. I know, it's hell for some gals to sit back, wait and do nothing. We fear if we don't do something, we may lose the opportunity. But I guess I feel--I want someone to share my life who 'wants' to contact me, hear my voice and not play games. Someone who isn't so lazy and who worked hard mutually and with me...to start building a wonderfully solid, loving relationship.
I live by these following words and it always put life and love into perspective for me."When a man wants you and adores you and they are genuinely interested--they will do the work and make the efforts, hun". If he's ill...can he not dial a few numbers and let you know-or have a friend call you? I guess what I am saying, would he keep you wondering? The answer is no. It's surprisingly amazing how smart and resourceful men are, when they want to find a woman they are crazy about. So have faith and pride in yourself. He knows where you are...you contacted him -a lot-the ball's in his court. You've done enough---let him call you. So take heart, sweety-- you sound loving and giving, there has to be something wonderful about knowing that your job in all this, is to be your best, positive, happy self, keep real busy, surround yourself with friends and to carry on with pride-- not worry, fret or waiting for some guy to contact you. You are fantastic for just who you are and he should definitely know that. If he doesn't then he's lost out on an amazing woman! Good luck, hun and have a nice New Year and remeber...be strong and keep your pride intact. If he doesn't take note of that about you..some other lucky guy will.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006):
Of course you should contact him. You could ruin a perfectly good relationship just because you are too afraid to contact him again. There are a million reasons why he hasn't replied to you, so don't try and second-guess the reason.
If you contact him at least it shows you are concerned for him. Isn't that a good thing? You arn't going to sound pushy at all, but if you play this rediculous waiting game you could end up ending this relationship. Who knows. Perhaps he replied to your email and you never received it and is sat thinking that you are ignoring him? Enough of the games. You're worried about the situation; your first point of contact should be HIM. Call him or text him right NOW.
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (30 December 2006):
 Hi dearie,
Hmmmmm. what i would do is wait for him to respond to my email. if he really wants to see you before he leaves he will contact u.Even if he was ill as u said he would naturally get better and be eager to contact u when he gets to see your email.
Dont worry, if he sees u as being close the way u see him and he wants more he will definitely be in touch. Just relax. 3 days is not that long anyways.
Goodluck and happy holidays
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