A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello,me and my current boyfriend have been together 4 years, last year we lived apart for the year but still met up and saw each other when we could. (we lived apart for this time because he needed some space and time to see if he wanted to be with me properly and was also working - but we remained together as a couple if that makes sense)?Anyway he decided he did want this and we are living together now and things are going well. The only problem is i dont seem to have any sexual desire for him at the moment. I still see him as sexy and sweet etc but i just dont want sex. I know i became a stronger person while he was away (it had been rough at the beginning of our relationship, i dont cling for him as such now) so im not sure if that has anything to do with it?I do love him deeply i know this, im just not sure what or if anything has changed? any advice would be appreciated, thank you Reply to this Question
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male
reader, M Proops +, writes (15 November 2013):
Do you masterbate when you're by yourself?Do you fantasize about anyone else?You can love someone and not be in love with that person. Maybe you're not destined to be together and yet you've been together 4 years.Maybe you should seek professional help if you want to make it work.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 November 2013):
 Did you start any new contraceptive? The birth control pill , and especially the depo shot, is known to kill the sex drive. Chance birth control pills, if that is the case. Take out the hormone stick if that's what you've got, and don't take another depo shot if that's what you've got.
Now, if it isn't the birth control, then it might be something in the relationship not going great. Maybe you don't actually want to be in a relationship with him? I wouldn't blame you, leaving you hanging in uncertainty for a year can make anyones feelings lukewarm. Maybe you thought you wanted him just because you didn't really get a choice, he was the one who pulled away, and you felt your options were taken away from you. Like, you had to sit and wait for him to make up his mind. When in reality, you should be making up your mind as well. Is a guy who leaves you hanging for a year really the kind of man you want to be with? Maybe you realized it just now, when you got your options back, that he's nice and all, but just not enough?
If so, evaluate what you want. If you do want him, then give it time to adjust and see if you'll warm up to him again. It could just be your body telling you you don't feel like you're in a relationship with him quite yet, that he needs to court you and make you fall in love again first.
But, I do have my money placed on it being caused by birth control. Or you're pregnant.
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