A
female
age
41-50,
*rokeen
writes:Another Follow up.Just thought i'll ask for some advice AGAIN.My boyfriend gave me another chance after a breakup.After my rude behaivoir and our constant fights. and i dont know why he's giving me another chance.he says that he only forgave me because it was the right thing to do but as for love, he doesnt think he has any love for me. And that he doesnt want this. So, my reply to that was that there is no point of me trying if we have nothing together. But he wants me to win him back? i dont get it. If he says he feels no love for me, it wont eventually develop in a month or so.I understand i hurt him, but treating me like crap is really gunna work? and i really dont want a relationship based on me begging for his love and i told him that. Cause in the end, even if we do get back, then i'll always have this fear of losing him, cause he'll have this control over me. And i dont want a relationship like that. I hope you get what i mean. Anywho, he keeps telling me that he has no love for me, why am i trying. Yesterday though, i was like okay fine and then he says "look i love you. but just keep that in your heart. dont be happy about it. but i'm trying to fix this", that was his exact words. I am really confused as to if i should work hard on this or not. Because at the end, i dont wanna be hurt when nothing happens and i tried for nothing. And i've told him i love him, and i am pretty sure he knows i do too. Because he knows how i am, i never beg and i did, in a way, beg for forgiveness. i didnt leave, did i? how long do guys take to recover? he is being very rude and like i dont understand how you can be rude to someone you love. Its as if he doesnt care at all. Right now, i've stopped talking to him. When he wants to talk, he'll contact me himself.Is that the right thing to do? What should i do?
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female
reader, Brokeen +, writes (21 December 2009):
Brokeen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe only reason i am trying again is because he tried for the past month to stay together. It was always my fault. I gave him space now and he messages me himself now?
is that a good sign? He is also treating me normally now, not making me feel guilty. and he gets mad when i talk about him being with another girl. Just the other day i mentioned another girl, he got mad but then he recovered and told me he deserved it. What does he mean? Is he guilty about how he treated me?
A
female
reader, scrdofyou  +, writes (21 December 2009):
 I agree with oldersister. Even though you did wrong, if he truly loved you, he would understand and forgive you, atleast out of love. If he was TRULY in love with you, then something like that wouldnt make him lose his "love" for you so easily.
From what I gather, he wants you to chase him. This is a common trait in controlling men. They want you to feel like you've done ALL the wrong, so therefor you feel guilty and take the blame.
Once you show someone controlling that they have power over you, they will take advantage any chance they get. I know this from experience.
The begging for example, if he see's that you will do this whenever you 2 get in a fight, he knows he has you in the palm of his hand,and that leads him to believe that in the future, no matter which one of you is right or wrong, you will always be the one to come back and beg for his love again, like a little puppy.
My best advice is, you have already let him know how you feel, and you have already apologized, the ball is in his court, if he really loves you and wants something with you still, he'll make an effort to contact you.
I'm sure all the fighting and arguing was only your doing, I'm almost positive he had some part in it, so he's just as guilty, so thereofr if he cant see the wrong he's doing, or even if he does, if he knows you will take the blame for all of it, he will continually blame you.
I say wait for him to contact you, if he doesnt, then just think about it, dont you think you deserve someone who wants your love as much as you want theirs?
Hope I helped and good luck!!
xo ayri
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