A
female
age
36-40,
*sousa87
writes:do i give too much attitude, is it wrong that if i offer to help doing something i dont like my boyfriend going to micro manage me and when he does i get annoyed feel like he thinks im incapable, he says he is just trying to help but than when he micromanages he tells me how to do things like his way is the only way, i think i have right to get annoyed and give attitude? do you agree am i handling the situation correctly?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 July 2011):
 personally I think it's something that will only annoy you more and more.
My first husband micro managed. it's still to this day one of the reasons I divorced him.
IF when he tries to help he makes you feel incompetent, small, stupid etc... then he's doing it wrong and he either has to change or stop. Or it will never feel good for you.
Being annoyed won't help. you have to tell him to stop doing it and that it bothers you. if he agrees to stop then you have something to work with. if he can't see the problem then you have a choice.
live with the subtle emotional abuse that he's giving you or leave.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2011): You shouldn't have the attitude but then again he's not listening to you. Whenever he tries to help just tell him politely that you have things under control and go about your business. If he keeps talking, then just do things your way and tune him out. But you should have a real talk about this with him because it really bothers you. Maybe then he'll get it and if he doesn't, then it's just a bad habit you're going to have to put up with. I'm sure many things about him overshadow this little nuisance.
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