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female
age
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anonymous
writes:I've just moved in with my BF, who runs his own business out of our house. I was under the impression that when I moved in my BF would tell his worker to go live at his house. The worker lives in our house in the guest room m-f and goes home on the weekend (he has a wife and kid). They started doing it 3 years ago when the worker moved too far away to commute to my BFs business. I moved in 2 months ago and he is still here. It is weird living w/the worker when my BF has to go out of town. BF says he doesn't like it either but needs him to work. Worker is illegal and does not drive, cannot drive himself back and forth, relies on wife. BF says he has suggested to him to get moving on this issue. Why doesn't he just set a date for him to move out? Am I wrong to think it should have been the day I moved in? I thought this would be like a honeymoon period for us and it is miserable.Am I being unreasonable? What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know the worker pretty well, he speaks english pretty well, he gets paid fine, my BF is fair. We did talk about it and I was under the impression that BF would tell the worker to leave soon after I came. I guess he just needs him to work and does not want to screw that up during the busy season, but I really did not understand how uncomfortable it would make me feel until I actually moved in.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 August 2010):
 No ur not being unreasonable, have u tried getting to know the worker? Maybe he only speaks a lil english, he may not understand you. If u gave him that chance and then uve tried to speak to ur bf about it and how uncomfy u feel and u got nowhere? The first thing that came to my mind thats not really fair to the worker that he only gets to see his wife and child on weekends. And if this man is illegal im hoping he gets compensated the correct amount of wage if he was legal! I would talk to ur bf again and tell him ur not comfortable with ur worker staying here u, and that its not fair to this man to be away from his wife and kids 5 days out of the week. This man has a life and a family that he needs to tend to. And if its really that problem of him being illegal then I suggest applying for a green card right away. Now if ur bf shoots all this down, and ur not really happy in this situation I would tell him ur moving out...and see where the relationship goes..if it goes sour u can always turn him for the worker thats illegal. Bc i almost bet that man is working extremely long hours and not getting the correct wage.
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female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (5 August 2010):
 I think you guys should have talked about that waaaaay before you moved in. it sounds like a really odd situation to be in. I don't see why your BF can't just find someone who doesn't have to live with him to work for him.
But you guys really need to have a conversation with the worker to see if there can be some kind of compromise.
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