A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have known my best friend all of my life, shes has been well known for having a bf and having guys after her. where as im the one who doesnt get any attention. She knows that i feel down about this even though i am happy to be alone im use to it, but its just a bit hard to hear hw=er talk about her boyfriend and even see guys say they have strong feelings for her, when i never get any of it. I dont knwo what i do that makes guy not interested. For years i thought i was just not pritty enough but i have been offerd modeling contracts. Its really starting to affect me wich i never thought it would. I never feel attractive and feel stupid if i ever feel like someone might have thought i was pritty. All i seem to be the person everyone comes to tell about there rrealtionship and how happy they are and i sit and smile when deep down i feel like cryingWhat can i do to change this, to find a guy who oaccturly likes me or to leabr how to live with being alone for the rest of my life Plese help!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): Well i have had the same problem. At first i did go through all the self pity and doubt; thinking i was unattractive and unapproachable. But when i finally plucked up the courage to ask people i got the same response from every single person i asked, they simply told me that i intimidated men and that i was unapproachable because i was 'too attractive' for men to even try with me, that they were scared of rejection. I started to go out to look for someone but never found it, eventually i accepted that i was single, attractive and young so decided to just have a good time. I then got approached by the most fantasic, gorgeous guy ive ever met - who i have been with for 4 years and had enough confidence in himself to ask me out.
The fact of the matter is; its probably not a problem you have, but a problem other people have. Their fear of rejection and their self-doubt.
Lastly, please dont go out actively looking for someone, it never works like that. The time will come when u least expect it!
Dont stress! :)
A
female
reader, Napalm_Angelripper  +, writes (28 January 2011):
 Aw sweetie, I know how you feel, Ive been through the same thing.
Similar to you, I always thought I was pretty, Ive also been approached by modeling agents and contracts, and yet my friends were always getting guy attention when I wasnt. I then noticed, that my friends flirt quite a lot, where I dont flirt at all. In fact, if Im at all interested in a guy, I take that as more incentive to avoid him, by purposefully not looking at him at all.
In fact, Ive read a few studies that have said less attractive women are more likely to quote-unquote go home with a man, or be approached by a man, if she is flirting with him than a more attractive woman whos not. And I suppose it makes sense. If a guy doesnt think youre approachable, or isnt getting any signals from you, hes probably going to move onto someone else whos showing interest.
Also, I have a very strong personality. Although Im not obnoxious or overly loud when Im out in public, I have strong opinions and can be kind of guy-like in how I act ... as in, Im a lot more laid back, and am more of the chick to kick back, hang out and have a few beers with the guys then be flirtatious.
Best of luck to you!
-The Resident Metalhead
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