A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I got into a little argument (nothing major.. but I guess he's VERY sensitive) last week. I said some mean things to him but I have tried to apologize to him after wards so many times. He wasn't having it, so he's been ignoring me for almost a week now. He doesn't pick up my calls or respond to my texts. He has a tendency of doing to this to me when he is upset. He will just shut down, ignore me, until I have to keep apologizing to him. It's getting rather old (especially when the problems are not even anything major... he's just causing drama on his end for no reason). I'm getting fed up with his behavior but I do love him/want him in my life. He did respond once or twice by text message (after me basically texting everyday after this incident) telling me he doesn't want anybody and he just wants to be alone. But I don't understand, I didn't even do something to hurt him that much. It was just a minor disagreement, in which he is blowing it out of proportion (all the time). Like I said, he did this to me before and he said the same things... he doesn't want anyone. But he eventually came around and we got back together after like a week or so of me making and effort to mend things. This time I don't know what to do. I don't know if he's just playing the same game with me (making me wait and beg for him... which is immature) OR he really means he its over with me? Should I even bother to pursue this further? Because I don't know how much longer I can wait... it's killing me. I feel like his behavior (multiple times he has done this to me) is driving me to cheat or go for someone else.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses. I've tried to get him to communicate with me through phone but he does not pick up or return my calls. I texted him and left him a message saying please let me know where we stand in this relationship, that it's unfair to me that your avoiding me and not letting me know what's going on. He called me back and told me he is hurt with all the things I said to him (but to be honest, hes such a baby, I didn't even say anything that bad to him! He's acting like I cheated or cursed him out or something!!!) and he does not want to be with me anymore because he doesn't want to get hurt again.
The thing is he brought up his Ex into this whole mess and said that all the things I said to him during that little argument reminded him of his ex and what she did to him. I have a feeling he is not over his ex and he is bringing his past issues of her and projecting it on to me. He keeps comparing me to her throughout our relationship and whenever we have a disagreement... it's always well your doing the same thing she (his ex) did to me. I feel like I'm already being unfairly judged for something that is out of my control. I've told him numerous times that I'm not like his ex and its unfair for him to judge me like that. It hurts my feelings that he does that but he never cares he continues to do it when he gets angry.
His actions are really driving me away, especially when he says that I'm just like his ex. I think that's really unfair to compare me to a person of his past and he doesn't realize how much it hurts me. His ex cheated him and I never once did that to him but he thinks that I'm going to do the same. I don't know if I should try anymore... I feel like its a lost case. He already made up his mind and I don't know if he is willing to change. I texted him if he wanted to come meet with me and talk things out face to face but he doesn't give me a response.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): Well, not sure the situation, however, you need to be honest with him. Perhaps just texting him and telliing him you need to talk is the first step. Then if he agrees, be 100% honest with him. Tell him you will break the relationship off and there are more fish in the sea so to speak. He needs to know the seriousness of how you are feeling. Not you just frustrated.
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