A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey i have gone on 3 dates with a guy. I enjoy his company. I have never dated properly and i really enjoyed it! He is a real gentleman But i don't find him that attractive and he's not very compatible with my friends.Anyway, last time i saw him, he said he loved me! and asked if i loved him, to which i replied 'let me get to know you better!' and i could tell he was offended that i didn't say i loved him back but for me it takes months to fall in love with someone! not 2 weeks!After this, i feel i should tell him that i just want to be friends. Is this the right thing to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): Haha...Okay I think there are two possibilities to this (or mayby more than two, but two is what popped in my head). First he really does love you, and really do thinks you are the love of his life. Some people do fall in love at first sight (I certainly do!). Or two, he is just saying that because he might think girls like hearing things like that (which will make him a very inexperienced man) as a way to put you under his control. You have to decided which one is he.
With respect to how you should feel about this, I don't know. You guys have went on THREE dates and you don't find him attractive at all, chances are you won't ever be attracted to him. I personally always decided whether or not i like the person within the first time I meet them. And forcing yourself to stay with someone you are not attracted to...is pretty hard and unpleasant. I would make it clear to him that it is not working for you, and put an end to that. This is a wise thing to do given how emotional (saying i love u on the third date) unstable/needy he is, you don't want to mess with someone like that.
Go spend some time with someone you will truly like. You don't want to waste time on this person...unless you have absolutely nothing else to do.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (30 May 2009):
 Go with your gut. I would be suspicious of anyone who said he loved me after two weeks too. That's way too fast IMHO. Be honest with him and let him down gently.
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A
female
reader, keysha +, writes (29 May 2009):
 life is crazy I had the same situation so what I did was slowly stop answering the phone and made it seem like I was alwasys doing something and he started telling me "I see you dont have time for me" thats when I told him "that's why I cant be in a relationship now because I have to much going on and he started to move on and I was so happy so hopefully this help you out it's hard girl I no!!! good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): Well.. do you want to be only friends with him because that's all you feel for him, or do you want ot be only friends with him becuase he told you he loves you and now you feel awkward?
Because if the latter is so, then I don't see how breaking up with him is the right thing to do.
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