A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:hello, I have recently been in contact with an old flame from 20 years ago at the time of our affair he was a family friend and I was married.. and decided to end it before we got caught, as I wanted to make my marriage work. 20 years on he is now married and I am single... he tells me he has never stopped thinking about me etc etc, and he is now in contact with me every day.. I feel sure when we do meet up, it may well ignite the flame!! I do not know what to do? Do affairs work for people? As I would be quite happy to be the mistress, so to speak.. I am 52 and he is 55 but I dont want to be a home breaker!! I am quite an idependently person..and have recently come out of a 9yr realionship, I don't feel ready for another full on committment and aware that I am quite vulnerable at the moment!!I look forward to your response ..thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): You sound like you're struggling with yourself. If it were a perfectly benign, innocent and comfortable circumstance for you, I have the distinct impression you would not have posted the question.
Let's ask: Do you want to be the other woman? Will you trust him completely if you got married to him today? What if you didn't feel vulnerable; would you want him?
What are you afraid of, and can you overcome that/those fears?
Maybe you're feeling the excitement resurface and it feels happy and good that someone reciprocates desire.
I would quietly consider the consequences of going with the urges, and compare/contrast that list to the consequences of not being "a home breaker".
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