A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend recently broke up with me and now i feel completely lost. We were together for just over 6 years since college and before we got together we were good friends. I have no idea what went wrong as we hadn't been arguing. It was only when i questioned the feeling i had that he was hiding something he suddenly said he wanted different things.What makes it worse is that we got engaged 2 months ago and it was him wanting to get engaged so he wasn't forced into it. We had been discussing living together so i really thought we had a future.I now don't know how to put my life back together. I lost a lot of friends as he was my best friend and i always put him first. I also don't feel i can move on as i keep wondering if he panicked and will come back.I feel so lost and lonely. Please help!
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best friend, broke up, engaged, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008): It does seem very odd that he would leave without any warning. Are you giving the full events? How often did you pursue your suspicions? And in what manner? It could be that he was annoyed at being accused of something he hadn't done, or maybe he is hiding something but can't find the words to tell you, and panicked when you suspected something.
The only way you can get an answer is to ask him. And respect him if he says there's something he doesn't want to tell you, or he needs time to tell you. Unless you have reason to suspect it's something that could be bad for your relationship, e.g. cheating, there's no reason to pursue it if he doesn't want to tell you.
If you both love each other you can work it out.
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (24 May 2008):
 How horrible :o(
I bet its a blow to the system. Possibly he got engaged because he thought it might make everything ok, but obviously it wont.
He probably just needs to experience new people if you got together young. Doesn't help you though, i expect he was your soul mate.
You need closure before you can move on obviously. Doesn't sound like you have that, dont know if thats down to you not accepting it or him not explaining things and chickening out, hoping you get the message.
Any chance you can talk to him to find out for sure?
C xxxxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008): omg, i am in an almost identical situation. Altho im the guy...
Ive been with my girlfriend for 3 years, and we were best friends for over a year before that. were both 21 now so slightly younger than you.
I also thought was everything was fine until one day she jus told me how she wanted different things, we had often talked about marriage and children.
I too had put her above every other single person in my life except my mother, father and brother all of whom got on with her well. and ive lost a few friends due to having to take her side in several arguments between friends.
She told me this as we were preparing for our university finals, (absolutely atrocious timing), and ive feel ive lost my soul mate/best friend/lover all at the same time. I too feel so lost and lonely.
I too get the feeling it is her 'panicking'.
she also said that she wants 2 kno what its like to be with another guy, (which destroyed me inside) im not sure whether thats an issue in your situation.
shes assured me theres no1 else but what shes said had led to me being very insecure and constantly ringing her and bugging her, which has pushed her away a little, do not make the same mistake.
It is partially our fault for expecting so much so young, and perhaps we may have come across a little needy at times, and/or been a pushover.
Give him space and hopefully he'll come back and never take for granted the love and commitment u offered him.
Ill pray for the both of us because i kno what youre going through, its horrible and i wouldnt even wish it upon my worst enemy, im guessing u feel as if the earth could open up and swallow u up....but stay positive, 6 years is a long time, as is 4 yrs in my case, and im sure relationships of that length wont be recklessly discarded for minor reasons or differences which can be resolved with communication.
Good Luck...stay strong...try and keep yourself busy.
Take Care
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