A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:24 male. I recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend, it was by choice I decided to wait.... Well now I have a problem. I can't last long at all. I mean to the point where at first I would end up blowing my load in my jeans from her grinding on me... dry humping etc. That's gotten better, I'm a little better, but still it can happen if I'm not careful.Now here's the very bad part. The moment she begins stroking me... or performing oral... maybe in about 10-30 seconds I'll cum. When we had sex, I probably thrusted maybe 2 or 3 times and came. I don't know what's wrong with me... now, I've gotten to the point where the anticipation and worry makes me lose it even faster. to the point where she may just reach in my pants and stoke me about 4-5 times.I should also mention I use to try and get off very fast when masturbating... but I feel this is more mental now than anything else... then again, idk... please help, i don't know what to do. im afraid she may eventually get tired of it... so far she is supporting, and says she doesn't mind....
View related questions:
dry sex, lost my virginity Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2012): I wish every guy was like that!! We girls just want it done quickly and get on with life.
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (20 April 2012):
Yeah, there is nothing less successful than trying to stop yourself cumming! It just wasnt made to work that way. Most important is to talk with your girlfriend - have a laugh about it and dont get stressed.
This is normal for most guys I think, certainly was for me. But its pretty common for a guy to want to cum before his girl. There are some tatical solutions to this. During foreplay once you feel yourself getting excited go down on her and slide yourself accross the bed or wherever you are that the only thing she can reach with her hands is your head (the one on top of your shoulders, lol) whilst licking her if you need a condom you can master opening and applying it one handed - this is a good distraction for you!! when she is about to cum you have a dilemma, do you interrupt her pleasure to have sex together or wait till she is cumming? I prefer the latter but ask her to tell you when she wants you in her. Usually she will shout out "f**k me!" which is about the best thing a guy wants to hear, especially as you know she really means it!
Most of all just have fun together, thats the most important thing.
...............................
A
female
reader, Deagan  +, writes (20 April 2012):
 There are over-the-counter products that can help decrease sensitivity.
Also, try masturbating a few hours prior to sex, it might make you last longer.
Otherwise, go slow and easy and gentle.
This is still new to you, so eventually you will have better control and command of it. Don't beat yourself up about it. That's great that your girlfriend is being supportive, definitely show your thanks and appreciation ;)
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 April 2012):
 This will get better as you get used to sexual activity. To make sure she is satisfied with your encounters, focus on her pleasure as well as yours. Don't just stop, dejected, because you ejaculated too quickly. Keep on pleasuring her, orally or manually, and you may find yourself with another erection in just a short time. There's no rule book that says you have to stop enjoying sexual intimacy after you ejaculate or that you can only have one erection per encounter.
Next time, tell her you want to please her and ask her to not stimulate you until you indicate otherwise. If your focus is on her pleasure, it may take your mind off your 'performance.'
You're young, you're still kind of new at enjoying sex with a partner, you'll figure it out. Relax, breathe, and simply be in the moment.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2012): The more you have sex the longer it will take. If you are really worried about it during sex try to think of other things rather than really get into it or if you do come quickly at least help her do as well. Make sure she gets her pleasure as well and she won't get upset with you.
...............................
|
