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male
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*hameful
writes: I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years now. She is the one and only person in my life that means so so much to me. I feel like I am one of the biggest idiots I have ever known. I cheated on her during a Halloween party last week. I was really messed up, not just on alcohol. I know this is not an excuse but I really was not in the right state of mind. I did some things that night that I had never done before so I was new to these feelings. The worst part of this story is that I cheated on her a few months into our relationship down in Mexico. She took me back after a few weeks and things have been nothing but outstanding since then. We get each other, we are such a good match not only on a sexual level but comedic, and intellectually. I know I sound hypocritical but what I did is not the person that I am. I do not want to lose her over this. She is coming to talk to me tonight does anybody have any suggestions on what to say or do? I feel so lost. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2005): Good luck. I just messed up myself 3 days ago, for the first time in the three years I've been with my girlfriend. I'm going to take the females advice here and not tell, but damn if I feel good about that decision. I have no idea how things will go from here, I actually think I would prefer if she cheated on me or if she broke up with me for some other reason and never found out what a complete ass I am. I've never been as disappointed in myself as I am now.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (8 November 2005):
 First off I'd let her read what you just wrote here. Then ask for her forgiveness about the Halloween fiasco,if she finds out about it on her own your goose will really be cooked. If she does decide to give you a second chance then it's up to you to show your honor and integrity by being faithful. And in the future watch out when you are drinking or using any mind-altering substances.
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A
male
reader, Calidus +, writes (8 November 2005):
well man theres a 2 day wait between sending a message and posting a message but if you still havnt talked her about it by time the messages come in then heres my advise.
You feel a need to tell her because of the extreme love you feel for her, and the way you felt like you not only broke her trust but your own trust as well.
The only way to resolve your feelings even partially, would be to talk to her about it, tell her the truth and how you feel because of it, if she breaks up with you because of it, yea you'll feel worse, but at least you'll of let your love know the truth, which is more then lot of people would do.
Shes already taken you back before, i dont know her so i dont know if she will again, and i know thats not what you wish to hear, but tell her the truth, tell her how your feeling, do anything it takes for her to forgive you... and maybe then you can forgive yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2005): Please tell me that you didnt tell your girlfriend what you have done? They way you need to look at this situation is like this. Basically are you wanting to tell your girlfriend that you have been unfaithfull because you feel you have to be honest or is it to clear your mind of the quilt? Believe me if my boyfriend had cheated on me but regreated it and was 100% sure he'd never do it again i certainly wouldnt want to know about it. Things are hardly ever the same in a realtionship if someone has cheated and the partner knows about it, the wronged party can never really trust their partner again and things just go downhill from there. It may sound strange but if you havent already told your girlfriend then dont do it, she would never thank you for your honesty and you'd proberly of just messed up something really good.
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