A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I've known this guy for 3 years now. We live a few states away from each other. I started talking to him online with no intention of feeling the way that I do about him. He was upset about a girl he wanted to be with, and I was upset about a boyfriend I was with at the time. It happened gradually but I fell in love with the guy, which was surprising for me since I thought that I loved another from my past so deeply. We tried a relationship, and he broke down saying that he couldn't handle being so far away from me. I was completely devastated, so much so that my rational brain went out the window and I ran to the one guy I knew wouldn't toss my aside so easily. That relationship was nothing but him mooching off me and using me for 2 years. Finally I got out of it, and took some time to myself. On and off, me and the first guy had been talking throughout my two year relationship. He'd always try to get me to come back to him, and as much as I wanted to, I didn't. I was afraid that history would repeat. Finally, after I was out of the terrible relationship I had found myself in, I decided that maybe we could have another chance. Things seemed to be going good..and then out of the blue he says he's found someone that he loves immensely. That he loves so much he knows for a fact that he's going to marry. He's since stopped talking to me completely. He said that the reason we had to stop talking was because he still wanted to be with me, but later in the conversation he said he had no desire to be with me. That he doesn't think about me anymore, but yet he still cares so much.I've been through the heart breaks, getting cheated on, getting used. I've had the nights where I can't sleep, or I end up crying myself to sleep. But this pain.. I haven't been able to sleep a solid 5 hours in the last two weeks. I try to make myself eat, but it ends up coming back up a few hours later. I have other people who say they would kill to have a relationship with me, but none of them have any appeal. I've gotten to the point where I feel like a relationship with anyone else isn't going to work, because the moment he comes back into the picture I'll shift my attention to him.I would just appreciate any advice on the situation. How to get myself in a better mood, what I should do, anything. I'm not really looking to get into another relationship.. I just want to be some what okay again. Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2013): Be kind to yourself, man, have we been there..I know I have. But you will get through this, you sound like you have your head on straight, made mistakes and learned.
And if you need to see a therapist, do it. Might be a saving grace.
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