A
male
age
41-50,
*lue Heron
writes:My girlfriend and mother of our to children moved out four weeks ago. The reason as far as I know is that I wasn't there for her. I've been trying so hard in the last four weeks to show that I'll do anything to right the wrongs in our lives. I know the mistakes I've made. I'm changing so I can be better for my family. She says she is feeling very good about things. She says that she wants to see a couseller and try to work things out. We have been close. It seems that all is going great then twoo days later she is stand offish. I get the feeling that the real reason for are break up isn't me not being there. She says that she is just scared I'm just going go back to the same guy. I really try to tell her that I understand the old saying ( you don't appreciate something till it's gone ) Should I stop trying? Should I keep trying and hope she comes around? I can't change her mind but it deosn't seem like my actions are achieving any results.
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male
reader, Blue Heron +, writes (22 February 2011):
Blue Heron is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I couldn't keep away. I ended up staying at her place for the weekend. It all started by me offering to watch the kids and telling her to go out and rellax. I even went as far as to help find someone to go with. Need less to say she was very appriecative. As it stands now she says that she is confedent that we will work things out. I feel that all the effort is from my end here. All though it might have to be due to the fact that she didn't feel I was there for her in the past.
A
male
reader, Blue Heron +, writes (18 February 2011):
Blue Heron is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell today I made the choice. I told her that we should have space. I told her that I can't keep being close when she tells me that she thinks that she's afriad. She say's she want's to work things out through counselling. I said that I don't even know what that means. Does she want to work on being friends? Does she want to work on getting back together? She said she didn't know? A friend said to me that when that is said the truth is she does know she just doesn't want to say it. I feel that until she makes a up her mind being close is to hard for me. So why do I feel just as bad after all that was said?
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A
male
reader, Blue Heron +, writes (17 February 2011):
Blue Heron is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much.
Two very diffrent anwsers.I guess I'll go with the two weeks. I'll set that in order to give me some time to get settled into my new place and come up with a game plan.
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A
female
reader, Sabrena  +, writes (17 February 2011):
Dont give up but do give her time to miss you, i am sure u might alreayd do this but try offering to taking the kid/s while she can have a day to herself, get her and the kid/s lunch take it to them, kiss her on the forehead, txt her so often, and if there is a family or someone who can look after the kid/s take her out and dont talk about the problem just focus on how pretty she is and how much u love her etc etc i hope things go well and u get ur mises and kid/s back home soon.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 February 2011):
No. Keep trying. 4 weeks is still too soon for her to be able to make a decision. That's a pretty short time, and if you weren't 'there', she will want to know you're willing to stick it out. This is something that will take quite a few months initially.
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