A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi, i cant get myself to be open about my feelings and stuff with my boyfriend anymore. i trust him but i'm afraid he'll end up thinking i'm too needy. i've got too many issues and i dont want to scare him off. what to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (3 March 2009):
 I completely agree with the first poster.
For me, when i need to emote to my fella, or vent, or just get my feelings out in the open, it is best if I give him good warning first. I say something like, "hey sweet, I really need to vent right now... do you mind if I just talk to you for a bit and get my feelings out in t he air? It'll make me feel a lot better". That way he sees it coming and he can be prepared to listen to me without feeling attacked or bombarded. It's especially important that you make him feel like he really did help you and that you're not trying to make him feel guilty, you're just trying to express yourself to make yourself feel better.
Guys mostly get scared when all the sudden their girlfriend freaks out on them. And, like the first poster said, they're not so good at dealing with the emotional stuff. They work more logically. So if you explain logically, "hey - I need to vent. I will get emotional. It's not your fault. Please just listen.", he should be able to appreciate that and turn on his listening ears.
Alright, good luck sweetness!
A
female
reader, No_Nonsense  +, writes (3 March 2009):
 Hi there
Well, how long have you been dating?
It's good to be open about your feelings, but there is such a thing as TMI - Too Much Information! :D
You don't want to give away too much because it not only ruins the mystery and also can put you in a position where you feel you're coming across as needy,etc.
However, if there are issues and feelings you feel you need to discuss with him (eg: they concern the relationship), then you should be able to speak up!
There are ways to come across so that you don't seem needy. Guys are logical and factual, so when speaking to him be confident and also try not to get emotional about stuff. Point out what's on your mind and discuss it with him. Say that something's been on your mind and you want to clear the air. I think he'll respect you for that!
Girls like to vent and can be all emotional, but guys like to keep things solution-based. So if you want a venting/crying session, save it for your girl friends :)
When discussing something with your guy, tell him what you're feeling, but don't point the finger at him or seem to fragile.
Love yourself and let him see your self-worth!
Plus, you said you trust him so that's always a good foundation for any relationship :)
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