A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I have a problem, and I honestly don't know what to do about it. Well I don't understand my body at all, I love my boyfriend and I am always in the mood and so is he. But I don't understand why a lot of the time I want to have sex with him, but when we are doing it I don't want it anymore. Its starting to freak me out! I know I'm attracted to him, hes a very good looking guy and he knows what hes doing that's for sure. I've tried doing it less often, but that doesn't even work. I don't even enjoy it when I try to please myself, its like I get bored with it or something. Which I don't see how, because me and my boyfriend don't do the same thing every time, its not always different but we change it up. And we don't rush into things, I mean he loves foreplay, sometimes I think more then I do! Hes way different then any other guy I have been with. He puts my needs before his own and I don't wanna hurt his feelings and tell him that its not doing anything for me. The thing that confuses me is sometimes I enjoy the whole experience, but more and more often I enjoy the first 5 minutes or so and get to the point I'm literally Bored with it. I don't know what to do about it. The thing that confuses me is that I'll be all for it one minute, then the next I'm thinking to myself "Why did I bother?". And I just don't know what to do about it. And I don't know who to ask about it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): It may be that the mental excitement that kicks in prior to and during sex, is not turning into the physical pleasure that comes from the act itself. What you do not say is whether it is physically pleasurable. You say he knows what he is doing, but it seems you are not responding to it. It sounds akin to performance anxiety in men...you can't get into the moment and so it ends mentally, and subsequently you get bored.
I suggest you find ways to stimulate your mind and body. for the mind, try some erotic talk with him as foreplay...have him read an X-rated story to you. Talk dirty during foreplay. Tell him what you want him to do and vice versa. Maybe watch some porns together if you are into that. For the physical...its all about foreplay. Slow down, and enjoy every sensation like you sayhe does. If he is catering to your needs...realize your needs and allow yourself to REALLY enjoy it. Most guys really get off when their woman is getting off, so let go, enjoy and let him do his work on you. Key is understanding your body.
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