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I am willing to give my ex time because I care - is this a huge mistake?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 December 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 21 December 2009)
A female , anonymous writes:

my ex and i were together for over 3 years and broke up over a year ago but noone did anything so wrong..no cheating or anything..just arguments over silly things

i contacted him a year later leaving a v-mail and he called me back a few minutes later and i explained my regrets and he said he can't jump back into this which I understood. We can't rush back into being together. He also said there are financial things going on stressing him out and also how he feels closed off right now. He said we would exchange calls and then meet. We have been talking for a few months about twice a week but recently the calls seem to becoming less often..i haven't heard from him since last sunday.. He said about 2 weeks ago he knows I am making a genuine effort and maybe he needs to get his head together...I also told him this isn't an easy situation for me. I am going to back off and hope he comes around and see if he contacts me.

I also find myself a little sad due to the holidays. I miss him..not just a boyfriend but being around him and i am hoping that he just needs some time and that after the holidays we will begin to see each other slowly. I know we can't just jump back into being in a relationship so is it a mistake to give it time? I even tried to say well maybe you just want to say goodbye and he said he didn't understand why it has to be like that and no in between. I don't think he wants to close this door completely right now.

Should I continue to back off? I would think he has some sort of feelings left since we are talking again and with him saying he can't jump back into this but agreeing to see me and be casual for now. He asked if anyone knew we were talking and I said my mother and he said his mothers knows as well.

I am willing to give it him because I care..just a little sad during this holiday time hoping he comes around...Am i making a huge mistake? I am on dating sites to distract myself.

View related questions: broke up, my ex

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (21 December 2009):

LazyGuy agony auntHe ain't into you as much as you are into him. He is considering... no he isn't.

You are a girl who is showing him affection and the possibility of sex. That is hard to say no to, a normal reaction would to be flattered and maybe even consider accepting but that is not enough.

This is love we are talking about, he SHOULD be reacting with "Oh wow! She wants me back, at last! Everything I dreamed off for the last year is coming true".

And he ain't doing that. Time to move on. he has had a year to consider.

As said, he just ain't that into you.

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