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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend is trying to use me like a feel good drug. Whenever something bad happens I have to give him emotional comfort and he tries to have sex with me no matter how I feel about it that particular day (not rape, it’s just I’m tired of tedious sex where I’m expected to orgasm so I have to think about things that fit my highly selective sexuality because he insists I have to have fun without being able to please me 100% of the time). Essentially he wants me to be some sort of hand cranked orgasm machine and I’ve actually come so much I hate doing it now! :-(I love him like crazy, I adore a lot about him but I’m starting to feel smothered when I have to watch him make bad choices and then sooth him in the aftermath (he gets whiny when I try to give him advice).He wants to marry me, I’m feeling drained, taken for granted (half of why he says he likes being with me is so that he doesn’t have to hunt for a date) and bored (when we met we had intelligent conversation. Now I feel like a nurturing outlet, some sort of Japanese knock off of a Stepford wife.)It’s just not fun anymore. I want to be out with people, learning and being wanted but instead I’m trying to please an insatiable appetite. I don’t want to throw away everything good we’ve shared together but it seems like something’s got to give. What can I do other then break up with him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2006): ~Same person as posterI know Martini, I know, I really liked doing what we were doing at first and it's driving me up the wall to be a typical frigid girlfriend. But it's like he's concluded that now he's got me he doesn't need to woo me and any attempts at foreplay all too often feel like he's just turning a handle or pushing buttons. I guess there's no surprise or tension?
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female
reader, twilightdiamond  +, writes (26 April 2006):
 honestly, tell him how you feel, its not going to get any better if he doesnt know. If he wont listen when you try to give him advice then dont give him advice, tell him you dont agree with what hes doing then when it doesnt work out say "i told you so", i doubt he''l want to have sex if he's nursing his pride. Then again you could always dump him and find someone else, once he realises what hes lost he'll come running back anyaway. but if he doesnt youl be better off anyway. Men... cant live with 'em cant live without 'em
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2006): Then stop having sex with him. Go out and have fun. Drag him out if you have to. If he feels moody or depressed, you can try to do other things. If he resists, and wants to bang you instead all the friggin time, then doesn't that pretty much tell you something? [light bulb going off]
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