A
male
age
41-50,
*oe31
writes:I am not sure whether or not my girlfriend and I actually broke up or on a break? Both terms have been used and we talked for two weeks straight and things seemed to be getting better (she said so) and she wanted to see me last weekend. She wanted me to stop telling people I was "single", rather tell people "its complicated." I was ok with her visiting but then she backed out last minute and I told her I didn't appreciate her doing that because I had other plans. She simply said, "Im sorry."Since then I have gone "no contact" (roughly 5 days). Should I contact her to find out what the deal is - whether we broke up or on a break? Or should I just leave things go.If there is a chance of reconciliation I don't want to blow it with no contact. The reason we broke up was because I was studying for 5 months for medical exams and put all of my time into it - we hardly saw each other and she said she couldn't handle it.Thanks.
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male
reader, Joe31 +, writes (26 September 2010):
Joe31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI totally screwed it up....I sent a few emails and we spoke on Friday night. She was clearly tired and irritated. She told me that I need to deal with this as she has been in this situation before. She told me I am acting pathetic and she doesn't like talking to me or even reading my emails because it makes her feel bad. She said she is too busy in her new job (2nd week there) to deal with me anymore.When I confronted her though about where we stand, she said she didn't not want to ever speak to me - "she could be cordial." She also said she saw us in the future together again - just not now with her new job and me waiting for my medical exam results in two weeks.I feel horrible about being so pathetic on the phone. I went totally against my good judgment and acted pathetic. I told her I wouldn't ever contact her again unless she contacted me first. She said good and I better stick to that.I feel like I pushed her away for good and I will never speak to her again.Any advice out there? Did I cause too much damage at this point? Is her line about "I see us in the future together just not now" a typical break up line that means nothing?Thanks much...
A
male
reader, Joe31 +, writes (24 September 2010):
Joe31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWithin 15 minutes of sending the email she called me on the phone. I told her I was running out the door at that moment and couldn't really talk. I asked if we could talk on the phone this weekend about it. She asked why I couldn't talk to her and why I was in such a hurry (I was meeting a friend and didn't really want to have a long conversation with her). She then asked if I could come visit her for the night (today) and I told her that I didn't know because I had plans this weekend (which I do). She then said for me to call her today to discuss this weekend.
Should I call this girl today or what? Man this is so confusing. I wonder if she really does miss me and had a change of heart or if she is just dragging me along???
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A
male
reader, Joe31 +, writes (23 September 2010):
Joe31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate it. I went against my good judgment (no contact) and sent a brief email asking she tell me whether we are broken up, on a break, or what. I said that before I go on never speaking to you again, I need to be clear since our relationship was killed due to the lack of communication over the five months I was studying and I don't want to extinguish any last threads that may or may not be there for the same reason.
I am already cringing for even sending it....that said, if she says were are officially over I think it will help me more.
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A
male
reader, Joe31 +, writes (23 September 2010):
Joe31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the response.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (23 September 2010):
 I think you're perfectly within your right to try to find out what's happening. Unless she specifically asked for a break, I'd assume there's just something wrong, and you are within your rights to find out what that is. You do need to be willing to accept that you won't like what she says though, that she might want to officially break up.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (23 September 2010):
I think you're perfectly within your right to try to find out what's happening. Unless she specifically asked for a break, I'd assume there's just something wrong, and you are within your rights to find out what that is. You do need to be willing to accept that you won't like what she says though, that she might want to officially break up.
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A
male
reader, alonewithnothing +, writes (23 September 2010):
hey man you are in the same boat as i am. 14 days ago my girlfriend that i have been with for 3 years told me that she wanted to move out because she is confused about what she wants. 3 days later she does move out and it has been hell every since. i ask her what we are and all i get is a i dunno. we talked and seen each other everyday last week but this week i wanted to give her her space like she asked and things don't seem the same. i would like to say that we are still together but i don't know is what i get from her. Just hang in there and give her the space and she will figure things out on her own if she really wanted to make it work with you.
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